Destiny - مقدر

25 - Other Half Of Her - اس کا دوسرا نصف

"Death may indeed be final but the love we share while living is eternal." - Don Williams Jr. 

I forced myself to stand, shaking and swaying from side to side. Shortage of breath is the first sign. I'm breathing but the air just won't go in, like my lungs are surrounded by metal bands. Next comes the rising panic, the dizzy feeling and the need to get low to the ground. I felt as if my lungs were slowly filling with water, as if there was just less space in them for the air. Inflating them felt like pushing up a lead weight on my chest. I sucked in the air as if it were treacle. Everything hurt. Again.

I looked around me as more people were found, and just as much people were not, Daniyal included. My eyes watered, whether it was tears or simply the flashlights, I'll never know. Soldiers rushed past me, shouting that there were too many casualties for them to look after, too much family members for them to control.  Ambulances were pulling away from the scene filled with three or four casualties just as other ambulances were driving in. The plane wreckage was being torn apart with special army equipment, the metal being peeled off of the framing like banana peels. Sharp, jarred edges stuck upwards towards the sky. 

I received more looks than were actually welcome, that was for sure. People wondering why I wasn't trying to stop the blood that was trickling from my wound and all down my arm. I didn't stop it partially because I didn't have the strength to. I felt bad that part of me wanted it to bleed out. For it to drain me of my blood and turn me unconscious before facing a harsh but peaceful death. But I couldn't, for Daniyal's sake. For the possibility that he was still alive. 

I held onto the edge of my lilac salwar kameez and picked up a jagged stone from the floor. Stretching it till the cotton fabric couldn't be pulled anymore, I ran the sharp corners of the cold, grey stone along it, cutting the lilac fabric like a hot knife through butter. Once it had reached the other side it had produced a long piece of lilac cloth. I tied the long piece of cloth around my arm where the wound was and tightened it with one last pull. It stung worse than anything I'd ever felt before, causing me to cry out in pain, tears running down my face. It was so excruciatingly painful that for a minute, I feared that I had bitten my lip so hard I had cut it. I inhaled deeply, exhaling with twice the frustration. I let the pain sink into my body as the cloth soaked it's own weight in blood. 

Suddenly two members of the medics team stopped at the tent to get more medical equipment, just about in ears-length.
"There's just too many casualties! Do you know how much people the plane was holding?" "Roughly four hundred and sixteen...Most of them definitely won't survive, that's for sure." I almost burst into tears at the statement. "There's this one guy trapped under one of the plane wings...they're saying it's highly unlikely he'll survive." 
"Ah, I think I saw him. Green eyes, brown hair, right?" 
"That's the one. Poor guy...wouldn't stop calling for his wife. Apparently she was also on board." 
"I hope they're reunited before he, you know..." He ran his finger along his neck and stuck his tongue out, his eyes closed. The other man nodded, "I hope so. What a harsh way to go..." 
They walked off with arms full of dressings, surgical equipment, small torches and painkillers. 

I know 'a man whose wife was also on board' isn't exactly a unique trait but it was definitely a trait that Daniyal had. And 'green eyes, brown hair'? Who else on board had those lovely traits? I knew he hid, he definitely did. He was calling for me, he probably wouldn't survive. (With the possibility that the man was him) I breathed in a ton of air and walked back towards the wreckage. There was blood everywhere. It scared me more than words could express. People were rushing around, screaming and trying their bests to stay calm. 

The same man who had looked for Daniyal inside the tent stood amongst the wreckage. "I understand that this is incredibly terrifying but we are trying our best to transport everyone out of here safe and with a chance for life! It would really help if everyone could try and stay as calm as possible and if relatives could please wait on the left hand side for someone to come and check for their family member? It would really help this situation, thank you!" 
Everyone continued as they were before, I watched as the man nudged a soldier passing by. "Nadim, could you sort out the relatives? Thanks."