Searching for Safety

Chapter 8

 I woke up before Ryder and went downstairs after I was ready for school. I went through my phone, reading my text messages from my dad that ranged from "Come home I love you," to "Don't ever come back!" I rolled my eyes and blocked his number, he wasn't even my real dad, I didn't need him bothering me anymore. I heard Izzy coming downstairs and I got up from the couch and met her in the kitchen

"Good morning." I said smiling at her. She smiled at me and yawned.

"You're up early, I'm usually the first one up and downstairs." She said chuckling. I shrugged and sat on the counter top.

"So, I assume we're taking Ryder's car today?" I said looking out the window at the still dark sky. "Who's got shotgun?" I asked looking back at her. She laughed quietly and shook her head.

"Guess we'll see who gets there first." She said starting the coffee pot. I hopped off the counter and got my backpack set up so I was read to go. Ryder came downstairs and turned on the keurig machine. I rolled my eyes and chuckled.

"Too inpatient to wait for your coffee?" I asked teasingly. He chuckled and pushed me gently out of his way so he could get a cup.

"I'm inpatient when it comes to a lot of things, especially getting what I want." He said glancing up at me with a smirk. My heart skipped a beat and my face flushed but I laughed and hip bumped him so I could get coffee out of the coffee pot.

"Some things are just worth waiting for." I said walking back into the living room. I grabbed my backpack and drank my coffee quietly while Ryder and Izzy talked in the kitchen. I took a couple breaths and sighed, my mind was buzzing and I was trying to ignore the very dumb questions my brain was generating. I could not afford having my stupid teenage hormones going on the fritz over a crush at this point in time, there was already too much going on.

"Hey Elaina, you ready to go?" Ryder asked from the kitchen. I put my empty coffee cup down on the table in the living room and walked to the door.

"Yep. Just waiting on you two slowpokes." I said smiling. Izzy stuck her tongue out at me and we all laughed as we walked to Ryder's car. I let Izzy sit passenger and she let me pick the radio station, we let Ryder drive. As we pulled into the parking lot I could feel my stomach starting to turn and I sighed quietly, trying to relax. I'd managed to miss the second day of school, and I didn't have a note because my parents weren't around. I didn't know how I was going to explain my situation to the office.

"You okay back there Elaina?" Izzy asked as Ryder parked the car. I looked up and nodded before shrugging and looking back down.

"Anxious again. I don't know what to tell the office about my living situation, or why I missed school." I said slowly. I got unbuckled and started to get out of the car, trying to ignore the butterflies in my stomach as I caught Ryder watching me closely. I pushed my hair out of my face and looked around, crossing my arms. Several people were staring with arched eyebrows. I sighed again and leaned against the car.

"Do you want one of your pills?" Ryder asked as he steeped in front of me, slightly holding the bottle out to me. I nodded and held my hand out, knowing he was going to give me a pill rather than the bottle. I kept my eyes on his hands, avoiding even glancing at his face. I quickly swallowed the pill and took a deep breath.

"Hey Izzy! Hi Ryder, we missed you guys yesterday." Clary said walking over and hugging Izzy. Alec put a hand on Ryder's shoulder and looked me over once.

"Everything okay?" He asked, still looking at me. I hesitated and looked at Ryder, who shook his head while looking down, then looked at me and gave me a small smile.

"Me or him?" I asked chuckling lightly, trying to hide the confusion I was feeling. Izzy and Clary started walking to the building, talking quietly and I watched them for a second while I waited for Alec's response.

"Both I guess, but ladies first." He said smiling at me, though it didn't meet his eyes. I smiled a bit and shrugged.

"Well, things could definitely be better, like attendance for starters." I said chuckling, slightly out of nervousness.

"Yea, all three of you were gone yesterday huh? Not just you and Izzy." He said turning to Ryder.

"That was my fault... Some, family complications arose and Ryder and Izzy were trying to help me adjust." I said watching Ryder's face closely. He wouldn't look at me, and seemed to wince slightly at my honesty.

"Family complications? Everything okay?" Alec asked turning back to me, his hand falling from Ryder's shoulder. He seemed much more engaged now, almost like he already knew something about it.

"My mom committed suicide and my alcoholic father lost it. Ryder had driven me home, and was still outside when I found my mom, so he kinda helped me keep my head, and leave the house." I said shrugging. I was surprised at how casual I sounded, but I didn't outwardly react. I heard Ryder take a breath, but I keep up the eye contact with Alec, who seemed to have heard more than I said. He nodded slowly.

"Well, I say mother loosely, but you know that." I said suddenly. His eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"I did." He said slowly. Ryder cleared his throat and I finally looked at him, he looked more than confused.

"You haven't told them about that yet though, so why bring up to me?" Alec asked. I shrugged and reached into my pocket, pulling out my mom's folded up note.

"Seemed like you already knew." I said nodding toward the paper, then I handed it to Ryder and started walking toward the building. I felt a little light headed, but mostly confused at myself. I took a slow breath and put a bored expression on my face as I walked, ignoring everyone and everything around me as I lost myself in my thoughts again.

"Wait Elaina, what is this?" I heard Ryder call behind me. I didn't react, knowing before he even spoke that Alec was going to tell him.

"Just read it, you'll be less confused." Alec said also starting to walk.

I could tell as Ryder walked into the classroom that he'd already read the note. Izzy watched him sit down and leaned over to him as he just stared at me.

"You okay?" Izzy whispered. He shook his head and handed her the note. She looked at it for a second and looked between me and him, picking up on the tense, sad energy flowing between us as we stared at each other.