Searching for Safety

Chapter 4

 Ryder grabbed my arm as I started running toward the forest, and pulled me over to his car. I was crying uncontrollably at this point and I shoved him away from me, he pushed me back so I was leaning against the car.

"No! You're not going into the woods damnit, you're gonna stay right here where I know you're safe!" He said sharply. I looked up at him surprised at first, then I just leaned forward so my head was against his chest and let him hold me while I cried. I couldn't stop shaking or get the image of my mother's lifeless body laying on the floor out of my head.

"She was so pale... she looked blue..." I shook my head and started to crumple, he held me up with one arm and opened the car door with the other, letting me sit on the passenger seat.

"W-what happened?" I asked through my tears, I couldn't stop crying. He took a deep breath and looked at the house, the back at me.

"Was she suicidal?" He asked softly. I shrugged then nodded my head.

"S-she got put on pills for her depression.." I whispered, starting to realize where he was going with the question. I looked up at him, he was staring at the ground in front of me, his hands in his pockets.

"It looked like she overdosed..." He said quietly, meeting my eyes sympathetically. I covered my face as my sobbing started again. He pushed my legs into the car and closed the door, then his door opened and he got in, but didn't close his door. I sat there and cried until I literally couldn't anymore. I stared blankly at the dash board and sniffled.

"Why is it my fault...?" I asked hoarsely, he looked at me an put his hand on my knee.

"It's not. He's drunk and wants someone to blame other than himself. You're probably the reason she held on so long." He said softly. His tone was reassuring and warm but I wasn't connived.

"What are you gonna need tonight? We'll come back and get the other stuff tomorrow." He said getting out of the car. I looked at him confused.

"Where are we going?" I asked looking around. He picked up my backpack off the ground in front of the car and dusted it off.

"I'm taking you to Izzy's for tonight. I know that's a safe place." He said casually. I stared at him blankly for a minute.

"Um... My toothbrush, deodorant, brush.. Uh, a change of clothes I guess. Oh! My pills, the ones for my anxiety." I said, he nodded and started to walk toward the house.

"Stay there." He said pointing at me, I nodded and watched him disappear into the house. He just walked in like it wasn't weird, and like my drunk father wasn't there. I took some deep breaths trying to relax. Ryder returned a few minutes later with my backpack looking a little fuller and got back into the car. He tossed the bag into the back seat and started the car, driving away from the house.

"Is he okay in there?" I asked watching my house get smaller in the rear view mirror. Ryder glanced at the mirror and back at the road.

"Yea, I connived him to call the police now that he's sobered up a little." He said, his voice sounded too flat, like he was forcing it.

"You... You talked to him?" I asked slightly shocked. He nodded and looked over at me.

"He's not that pleasant." He said bitterly, then I noticed the bruise starting to form under his left eye. He'd been facing forward the whole time, I couldn't see that side of his face.

"Oh my god I'm so sorry!" I said covering my mouth. He raised an eyebrow, then realization spread across his face.

"That's not how I meant it, don't worry about me. I get into trouble a lot, this is nothing. However it's a different story if that's how he treats you." He said slowly. I turned my head to look out the window as he turned to face me. The car slowed to a stop even though there was no reason to and I kept my eyes down.

"Elaina... I was kinda looking for an answer there." He said. I could tell he was trying to sound calm. I looked around outside.

"Why are we stopped? You can go, you know that right?" I asked avoiding his eyes. It sounded like he growled before he took a deep breath and put the car in park.

"We aren't moving until you answer." He said finally. I stared at the door handle, contemplating getting out of the car before sighing an crossing my arms. Then uncrossing them and fidgeting nervously.

"Fine! Fuck! Just start driving again damnit. Only when he was drunk and I usually had my door locked so it didn't really matter." I said annoyed. The car jerked forward and I could tell he was speeding but I didn't say anything.

We pulled into the driveway of a large gray house, only two lights were on from what I could tell and only Izzy's car was in the driveway. Ryder parked and got out, grabbing my bag and closing his door a little more harshly than necessary. I sighed and got out, closing the door softly and started following him to the front door. He knocked twice before opening the door and just walking in, I hesitated for a moment before following him inside. He slammed the door shut and I flinched, taking a step away from him.

"Ryder could you not beat up the house? If you're that pissed go downstair... Oh." Izzy stopped in the hall when she saw me. She looked between us a couple times and started walking over again.

"Um, I didn't realize we were having company." She said smiling at me. I looked down as my backpack hit the floor.

"She's staying the night. Who's upstairs?" Ryder asked, his tone was bitter and harsh. Izzy looked at me confused for a second then looked back at Ryder.

"Gale, we were studying." She said shrugging. Ryder scoffed and walked into the living room. Izzy looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

"What happened?" She asked quietly. I shook my head and sighed.

"It's a long story..." I mumbled.