Constant

Getting to know Sam

Sam's POV

I sat once again with my back against the blue and purple wall, with the blade to my skin. With one quick motion I relapse and cut open my skin. I feel the blood rush out of me. I cut my upper thigh 3 more times. I get up to grab a dish towel to wipe the blood off of my leg, as I turned on my favorite song "A Part Of Me" by: Neck Deep. This song always makes me feel better during any situation, weather I'm furious, scared or sometimes even in the rare occasion that I'm happy. Once I stop bleeding, I pick up my phone. No new notifications. I'm not surprised. I have no friends. Who was I expecting to text me? I laid in bed listening to “Bring Me The Horizon” and “Neck Deep” until dinner time. My drunk mother wasn't home yet as usual, she was probably still out gambling. I walked out to the small kitchen in my mom and I's trailer to look for food. No luck. My mom hasn't gone grocery shopping in 3 weeks. I stumbled back to my bed room and sat down at my laptop and started looking for dresses to wear to the 'Winter Wonderland” dance in 2 days. After looking at many dresses, short, long, pencil, flowy, tight, poofy, I saw the one, it's a strapless sweetheart neck line, that's chiffon fabric. it's light pink and has a beaded bust. It was perfect. It went well with my velvet black 5 inch heels with little studded bows on the sides. I could buy it if I used my coupon and spent the money I saved. I rode my pastel pink penny board to the mall.
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When I got to the mall I walked into Macy's where I had seen the dress online. As I walked towards the dresses I noticed a group of teenagers from my school. I tried to quickly walk past them without anyone noticing me.

"Hey emo girl! Why do you need a dress to the dance you don't have a date anyway?!"

I hear a girl yell at me. I immediately try to walk away to the bathroom without crying or showing any emotion.

"Where are you running to emo girl?"

I hear another voice say. I bite my lip trying to hold back tears.

"Your daddy?"

Another unknown voice says. I'm wondering how many people are there.

"No her dad ran out on her when she was little.” The female voice laughs. “No one loves you Sam! No one could love an ugly emo girl!”

Only one person knows that. I immediately know who one of the voice is. It's the prettiest girl in school, Addison. We used to be friends but then we ended up both dating the same guy at the same time and we never really spoke again, other than her bullying me. But she knows everything about me, my self harm, that my dad left me, that my mom abuses me, everything.

"Hey, just stop"

I heard faintly in the distance. I couldn't turn around to look and see who the voice that stood up from me was. The group of teenagers stopped following me and walked out of Macy's leaving me to buy my dress and get back home as quickly as possible to avoid any further harassment. I quickly go to the back of the store where the dresses are. I look through several racks of dresses until I find the one I saw online. I don't even bother to try it on, I pick up one that's size 6 and take it to the cashier. I quickly pay for it and leave the mall.
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As I'm riding my penny board home, I look down at my phone to check twitter and the next thing I know my hands are on the chest of the most popular guy in school, Devon Foster.