If I Die Trying ~ Yoonmin

The fourth chapter ~

Last chapter with Jimin's POV. Could edit but I'm too lazy and personally enjoy this style too.

PS. A bit shorther chapter this one.

What our lifes turned out to be? 

We were supposed to fall in love during the high-school years and be happy and have everything. To wake up next to each others, see the grumpy face of yours when you refuse to wake up in the morning. Making breakfast and messing it up because we'd play around and forget the food on stove. Then just order pizza for breakfast and feel sick during the finals.

Instead we grew apart, graduated and moved to different places.

I may have forgot the pain and longing while growing up, but I never opened my heart to anyone.

I passed and got in to a dance college.

I moved in with Jungkook, who found a boyfriend who's same age as me. He calls himself Taetae. He is silly and he makes Jungkook happy.

I remember wishing to stop feeling anything. They say you get what you order.

Now that I'm numb I wish to feel something. 

I wish to get suprised or excited but it just doesn't happen. A switch has turned my emotions off.

"Are you excited guys? Tomorrow is the d-day!" dance leader and a friend of mine, Hoseok, smiles brightly. My college dance team is participating national college talent competition.

I smile my usual smile even though I can't reach the actual feeling. I have a solo performance as well, right before the group one.

If I'm being honest, while I'm dancing it's the only time I can feel something. That's how I'm still alive. I suppose.

Dance has always been that for me. Even when I was at my worst at high school, I'd dance at gym, in a ridicilously small mirror room and I'd forget him for a moment.

Though I'm never good enough and there's always people better than me in everything. It eats me, even when it shouldn't.

Overall, it's nice people can't read others minds. I'd be in asylym by now.

~~

"D-DAYYYYY!" Hoseok shouts as he steps to the bus full of talent competition participants. I'd lie if I said this wasn't big and important. The winner gets a huge scholarship and recognition from the country's best professionals on each field.

So obviously I'm going to give my all and more. Then later hate myself for failing at the thing I love to do the most. But that's for later.

I should enjoy myself. Be confident.

Stop caring about others so much. They should have nothing to do with what you're good at. 

But it's hard to hear, especially when not everyone even understand why they're like that. What caused me to be like this. Isn't that another fault in me?

I wake from my thoughts when Hoseok knocks at my shoulder. "We're here," he winks. I see an empty bus and get up immeadiatly. This happens when you live too much inside your mind.

I get ready, practise few times, stretch and then walk to the stage.

A/N: Yes this chapter sucks and I don't like it but better is coming, hopefully :D