boundaries | e.d

T w e l v e

Riley

The entirety of our car ride was awkward and quiet. Especially after he called me Bambi back at the house. Hearing the nickname fall from his lips brought me back to the night he met me. It reminded me of how naive I was to think he was a good person.

No person in a gang is ever a good person. I've learned that now. This last week has painfully taught me that. From men threatening me with rape and murder to witnessing men carelessly watch their 'friends' be killed.

I don't think I've ever hated this lifestyle enough. A part of me was always against the life my brother chose for us. Then I saw Natasha follow in their footsteps. And then I fell for a boy who was worse than any of them combined.

"Okay, we're here." Ethan begins to tell me, but I'm already hopping out of the truck.

He murmurs something else under his breath as he joins me on my walk to the bookstore up the block. His body stays close to mine as we approach the place I've always ran to as an escape. New music always found a way to ease my mind.

"Riley, I'm so sorry for acting like that last night." Ethan whispers to me with a soft tone. "You shouldn't have witnessed any of that. Especially by me."

I can't let him in again. I can't open up to a person whose unpredictable. To a person who can mercilessly take the life of another.

"I'm only getting a few records," I ignore his apology as I stare through the window of the shop. "You can stay out here." He huffs with a shake to his head upon me looking up at him. "Okay?"

"Not happening."

"Space." I remind him.

"In charge." He reminds me with a smirk. I close my eyes in defeat and head into the shop with him not too far behind me.

As we approach the stand of records, I find him tracing his fingers over the older tracks such as Frank Sinatra, Johnny Cash, and Bob Dylan.

My heart flutters as he smiles to himself, but every ounce of emotion is drained completely when he looks to me painfully.

"I'll wait outside." He chokes as be brushes passed me.

Despite every bone in my body screaming at me to stay put; I find myself forgetting everything I hated him for and turn around to chase after him.

"Fleetwood Mac?" A boy who works at the shop distracts me from the man I care about as he questions my taste in music.

This was a sign that I shouldn't be chasing after him. I swallowed the lump in my throat and let the bell ring as he left the shop.

"Never heard of them?" I asked in hopes he'll prove me wrong.

"Love them." He smiles at me. "You don't seem like a girl who listens to older songs." His hazel eyes remind me of Ethans, only softer.

"They're timeless pieces to listen to." I giggle as he bites his lip playfully. "What are you doing?" I question him as he takes the record from my hands.

"You're pretty, have good taste in music, and you talk smart." He lists the reasons for liking me as he picks up a few more records from the same era. "Lemme guess," He sings before turning around, "You love every record in my hands right now."

My face heats up as I approach him to take the records back into my keeping, staring down at the collection he made for me.

"You can have them for free." He leans off the shelf as the bell to the store rings again; this time more abruptly. I choose to ignore it, lost in this boys eyes and charm. "If you give me your number."

I gasp, making him laugh, and making me feel more normal. This boy didn't come with corruption, violence, drama, or pain. He was a breath of fresh air.

"S-sure." I shake my head as the two of us laugh at the encounter we were both enjoying. I take the phone into my hands, typing my name in as well as my number.

"Thank you," He hums as he takes the device back into his hands. "Riley." His voice softly speaks my name as he looks down at the contact.

"And you are?" I tap the phone to grab his attention, which makes the lovely boy chuckle again.

"Jayden." He smiles at me with his hand held out for me to shake. "Nice to meet you."

"You too." I shake the palm of his hand, comparing its roughness to Ethans. It's almost impossible to not laugh at the irony that Ethan's hands were so much softer.

"What's going on?" The man himself growls from behind me. Before I can even get a word in, my waist is being dragged out of the store roughly.

"What are you doing?" I begin to shout, punching the hands that continue to drag me away from the store. "Let me go!" I scream as the door slams behind us.

"Who was that?" He shouts back at me, showing the dominance he has between us. I don't stand down this time. For once, I stand up to his frustrating character.

"None of your business!" My voice breaks with the rest of my composure towards him. "God, nothing I do is any of your business! This is so stupid. I can handle myself!"

"Oh I'm sorry for getting annoyed Riley. It's not like you were attacked last night and almost was raped cause you can't stand up for yourself!" Our argument turns heads from the people passing by but it doesn't stop us from screaming at each other.

"God, this is out of jealousy not you protecting me! You know who to keep me away from and who not to keep me away from. That boy in there has nothing to do with our lifestyle!" I push at his chest and begin to stomp away from him.

"You're right Riley," He growls from behind me as I try my best to get away from him. "I was jealous. Hell, I never expected you to be a slut!"

His words stop me in my tracks. What the heck did he just call me?

"What did you just say?"

"You heard me damn well," His body slowly approaches me with every word digging at my fragile heart. The man from last night shines behind his eyes as he hovers over me. "You were so willing to give yourself to me last night, only to give your number away to a random stranger the next morning."

"I almost gave myself to a monster!" I hurtfully cry with a push to his chest. His hands reflexively grab my wrists as I sob in his keeping. "Let me go! I don't want you watching me anymore!"

"Well guess what Riley. You have no choice." He hisses behind his teeth. "I'm watching you whether you like it or not!" His face inches closer to mine. "You're stuck with the fucking monster you hate." His hands shove my wrists away in annoyance as he walks ahead of me.

He left me there in a state of weakness - leaving me alone with the thought of never wanting to hear his voice again. I hated him. God, I hated him for ever making me believe he was different. For even now, making me wish he was still different. I shouldn't care. But from the way I feel right now, I know I care way too much.