boundaries | e.d

S i x t e e n

Riley

Ethan told me to wait outside while he wrapped up his conversation with Natasha. Being honest, I never expected him to agree on taking me out for a walk. Yes, he has no choice; but when he told me he was ready, I saw willingness in his eyes.

The walk was only an excuse to have him talk to me again. Even after everything we've been through, good and bad - I wanna be near him.

Our last adventure together didn't end well with our exchange of words. But after trying to feel something for Jayden, and hearing everything Jake had to say; I want to try again.

When he came over before, I assumed it was to see me. It's what I always assume. I associate everything he does with myself but from what I can tell; I've been wrong.

He doesn't care anymore. Who would after the things I said to him. They were wrong but they were truly how I felt. But, the longer I reflect back to that night, and the image I've created for him - the less I agree with myself.

I can't take back anything I've said. I can only trust Jake and pursue the person who I see as pure. Whether that be Jayden or Ethan, I'm not sure.

"Oh shit," The man himself curses from behind me as he pats his pockets, "Have you seen my keys?" He asks me.

"No, but I wanted to walk. If you don't mind." I say quietly as he pops his head back into the apartment.

"Oh," He stands back into the hallway, "Okay."

The hall was quiet as I turned on my heel to head towards the elevator. His footsteps followed mine all the way to the park. No words were said the entire stroll here.

"So what'd you and Natasha talk about?" I ask as we make our way down the dirt road.

He shrugs with a heavy sigh, not once looking my way as he responded. "A few things."

The tension between us was unlike one I've ever felt before. It was suffocating, discomforting, and I didn't like it one bit.

"Ethan," I groan, stopping in my path. He continued to walk, kicking the rocks up from the dirt as he did so. "Eth." I say more clearly.

His body freezes in place, as if he's contemplating his next move, before he slowly turns back to face me.

"Are you okay?" He asks me in confusion. I stand there with my arms crossed, no plan on what to say next, and desperation for him to understand my silence. "Riley."

"It's Riles, isn't it?" I say without thought. My arms fly out beside me in frustration as he shakes his head.

"You told me to never call you that." His words are cautious, as I expect them to be. I'm not even sure what I'm doing but whatever we are right now, needs to change.

"I know what I said," I nod before sitting down in place of where I was standing. "I just don't know if I mean it anymore."

"Why did you bring me out here?" He begins to catch on, making me suddenly nervous.

"I wanted to go for a walk." I lie.

"You're lying."

"No I'm not." My eyes rake their way up to his face that's scrunched in anger. At me? He's angry at me?

"Come on, let's go home." He hurries towards me with his hand held out to pick me up.

"We just got here." I crawl back in defiance, angering him further.

"And now we're leaving." He steps towards me again but just as before, I crawl away.

"Why don't you just wanna sit and talk?" I shout up at him.

"Because Riley, you made it clear that you never wanna talk to me again!" He bellows loud enough for the birds to escape the trees around us. I cower in fear, always giving in to this side of him. "Now you bring me out here and try to get me to open up? Again?"

"You never opened up to me." I whimper.

"Yes I did. I was stupid when I was around you Riley because you made me believe there was more to me."

"There is more!" I stand up to him, watching as he bites his lip with closed eyes. "Ethan, I've said things to you that I didn't mean-"

"Just stop." He puts his hand out to silence me but I continue to talk over his demands.

"You've said things to me too! I saw who you were and maybe I think it's not as bad anymore!"

"I said, stop!" He screams in my face, chilling every vein in my body as I stumble back from the growl that escaped his throat.

We both stand there, in the place of where he left us.

Ethan

She's saying everything I needed her to say right now. The day I decided I'd move on from her is the day she decides to give me another chance.

I refused to hear anything else come from her lips. If she wanted me, possibly loved me, I know I'd have to choose her over my brother. If I don't hear the words come from her mouth; I can move on in peace knowing we did what we had to.

"Why are you doing this?" I question her as she stares down at her feet with tear stained cheeks.

"Because I hate this."

"Hate what?" I push her further. "You have Jayden now. You were quick to toss me aside for him before."

"I know," She nods as she wipes away the tears, "I was trying to move on from you."

"You hated me." I remind her of the pain she caused me when all I tried to do was save her life.

"I was afraid. Disappointed-"

"Oh that makes me feel so much better!-"

"Disappointed that I couldn't be with you!" She screams over my impatience. My ass wouldn't let her speak out of the fear she'll ruin my plan.

"I was falling for a different image! It hurt and shocked me when I saw someone else." Her words dug through me to the point of losing my balance.

I stumbled back, questioning every emotion she's made me feel since she believed in me.

"But that doesn't mean I don't want to miss out on the who you are. It may not have been what I expected-" She's quick to recover but the guilt and blame are too loud to ignore.

"You deserve better."

"Ethan, I miss you. I shouldn't have gotten so angry."

I stare at her in silence; appreciating this moment as she spoke the words I've wanted to hear for what feels like an eternity.

"You and Jayden will make a good couple." I swallow the pain in my chest, holding my breath as I blinked away the oncoming tears.

I held back the bile in my throat as I turned down the girl that shinned so bright, it fought off the demons I never wanted to be associated with.

Her breath hitched as I terminated the only hope we had left between us. The lips I constantly crave began to quiver as she absorbed my words for what they were; rejection.

I turned away despite my entire being screaming her name. It was so loud and consuming that my head began to pound, my chest began to ache, and the hairs on my skin began to rise.

But I kept walking and I kept my boundaries. We're just too different.

A/N:
I don't know how I feel about this chapter; It kinda sucked. But the next one's really goooood ;)))