I Like Me Better - Lauv
To say Nicole's day had been demanding was a severe understatement.
Six thirty in the morning her alarm blared, awakening the groggy Nicole who had experienced a sleepless night. She was one of those people who had a schedule that she stuck to and if she strayed from it for a single day, her entire body clock would be disorientated, which would completely fuck with her mind leading to a terrible mood. She'd trudged over to the bathroom and shortly figured out she'd had woken up with untameable hair and rebellious skin. Immediately she knew that the day was going to be a struggle to get through.
At the gym, her trainer could tell that Nicole's mind was elsewhere. She was getting frustrated very easily in the ring, taking easy chances and failing to block obvious digs. The session ended with Nicole punching the wall in frustration.
After returning home from the gym, Nicole had bumped her hip into the breakfast bar whilst pouring her muesli. She'd spent the next twenty minutes trying to clean up the crumbly oats that had been scattered all over the kitchen tiles. Eva had walked in to find Nicole on the floor with the vacuum and had immediately walked off, knowing that she was only to progress her bad mood.
All the songs that were playing on the way to the studio Nicole wasn't feeling. Amidst the rush, the music had stopped playing through one of her earphones. There was nothing that annoyed Nicole more than broken earphones. She'd gone to grab her phone from her sweatpants pocket to try to fix the issue, but the phone had slipped from her hand and landed on the hard tarmac of the road. Once Nicole had picked up the device, she'd seen the spiderweb type shattering on the screen and screamed internally, swearing that her day couldn't get any worse.
Due to the lack of sleep she'd experienced that night, Nicole just wasn't in a creative mindset when she reached the studio. Her head had pounded as she'd sat on the wooden floor with her salad, the silence too loud for her. During her afternoon session, Nicole had grown impatient with her mind, screaming at herself in the mirror in vexation.
Adrien had called Nicole at six o'clock to tell her that he wasn't going to be able to pop round to hers that night as he had to work overtime. She hadn't answered his call, but he knew not to bombard her with messages, so he left her a text and waited for her to call him back.
Despite staying an extra three hours, Nicole hadn't been able to finish the choreography that had to be done in two days. She was too exhausted at eight o'clock to continue or walk home, so she ordered an Uber and headed home.
Nicole stumbled into the flat at nine. Silence. She wasn't greeted by the high pitched welcome that Nicole received every night by her roommate; Eva's shoes weren't by the door either. She must have been out. She freed her feet of her trainers, leaving them in white ankle socks, and headed toward the kitchen with her backpack in one hand and her phone in the other. She'd a few messages and missed calls, but decided to get back to them after she'd eaten.
Dinner was leftover lasagne from the previous night; Nicole's Watch Later Youtube playlist was playing on the TV as she ate, curled up on the sofa with the white blanket that was gifted to her. Her eyes were beginning to close; she could feel the sleep taking over her body.
Just as she was about to slip into the abyss, a voice that originated directly from behind the sofa startled her. Nicole's eyes shot open, her left arm quickly grasped onto the clothing worn by the figure and pulling them over her to the floor, her right hand rapidly grabbing the fork from her plate and placing it at the person's neck. The body beneath her felt stocky, Nicole concluded that it was a male from the groan that escaped the man's mouth. Though she stared at the man's face for a second; she recognised the brunette locks of hair, the brown eyes and the moles on his face.
'I think you've broken me, Nic.'
The voice was clearly startled, but was familiar. Nicole cocked her head downward, locking eyes with Nathan. Straight away she went to pull away, sat up and dropped the fork, her hands shooting up toward her face. Nicole took a moment to register her overreaction to such a weak attempt at a practical joke.
'You scared the shit out of me,' her voice was strained and weak. She hadn't seen the guy for a couple weeks. He was round most weekends, but house party season had truly begun, so Nicole was out of the house most of the time. 'What're you doing here?'
'Eva let me stay the night.' Nathan was in grey sweatpants and it seemed like nothing else, his hair messy, his eyes dazed.
'Don't you have your own place to crash at, O'Connell?'
'I do, Newman, but it's my roommate's birthday today and his girlfriend was planning a 'fun night'. I didn't want to be around for that. Eva's at her boyfriend's tonight, so she let me stay the night here.'
'Didn't either of you think to tell me? I thought you were a burglar, what if I had stabbed you?' Nathan was about to respond, but Nicole cut him off before he could get a word in. 'You know what? I don't want to know.'
Silence followed, though their eye contact wasn't broken until Nicole stood up and took a place on the other end of the sofa. Nathan sat up, groaning, leaning on the sofa for support. Nicole's face was bare and painted with sleep, Nathan could see that clearly as she snuggled herself deeper into the corner of the sofa.
'You okay? You seem a bit on edge. I mean, you did just become Black Widow for a second,' he asked curiously, placing himself down on the sofa. 'One of those days?'
'Yeah,' Nicole said after her eyes diverted from the flat screen and toward the boy.
'What happened?'
'Stupid shit. Shit gym session, smashed my phone, didn't finish the routine I needed done,' she sighed, closing her eyes and pulling her blanket over here further. 'Tell me about your day.'
Nathan began to speak about his uneventful day, though every time he glanced at the girl she looked interested, she even contributed to the conversation with small comments. Though by the time Nathan finished, Nicole was unresponsive and in a deep slumber.
After turning off the TV, Nathan decided to pop the dirty dishes she had left on the coffee table into the dishwasher, knowing she would go insane if she saw them the next morning. He then thought about moving Nicole to her bed, but that was a fleet of stairs away, and he didn't think she was comfortable enough with him for him to be carrying her. Nathan simply took a pillow from the sofa and yet another one of Eva's infamous blankets and lay down on the floor next to the sofa.
Nathan lay awake that night. He thought of the emotion that Nicole showed that day; it was the most emotional he'd ever seen her. She was tired, and she seemed fearful. She jumped to the conclusion he was a threat very quickly, and she seemed confident that she knew what she was to do with that fork if it had been an intruder in the flat. Her scent still lingered in Nathan's nose; peppermint.
That night Nathan concluded to himself that he hadn't a chance with that girl; she was too distant. But he was addicted, and he knew he wasn't going to stop.
~
Nathan's favourite breakfast food since he was a child were pancakes. They used to be his Sunday treat; his mother would wake him up early and Nathan would help make the batter by stirring the ingredients together with his trusty wooden spoon, making sure there were no lumps. The smell of pancakes reminded him of his mother and those mornings.
The nostalgic scent greeted Nathan the next morning alongside hip hop music and Nicole's voice; she was rapping along to the music, perfectly on time with the words as if she'd heard the song a million times. The deadpan tone in her voice that practically lived in her vocal cords wasn't there, it had been replaced by an enthusiastic and almost breathless voice. Nathan knew that if he spoke up she'd stop immediately; someone seeing her true colours her made her nervous. He stayed quiet for the sake of hearing her be truly human and full of emotion. It was a rare occasion.
Though it didn't last long. Within ten minutes Nicole was out the door. Nathan sat up immediately when he heard the keys leave the keyhole. He'd stretched briefly before heading toward the downstairs bathroom. He passed the breakfast bar and caught eye of the stack of perfect pancakes left on the side. "Sorry" had been written on top in chocolate sauce in cursive, a knife and fork placed by the plate too. Nathan shook his head, a small smile on his face.
Maybe he did have a chance.