Infamy

    Lola packed the last box into the trunk of her silver Honda Accord and paused to have one last look at her former home. Once a place of refuge, now a place that sent shivers of unease up her spine.  She hadn't been back since the incident no, incident seems too gentle a word for what this was, this...was a bloodbath, a massacre an unholy slaughter.  She tried to push the memories to the back of her mind but they wouldn't budge, bombarding her with mental images she never wanted to recall, until she was overcome with grief and slid down the side of her car door to the ground, defeated.  She sat shaking and crying for what felt like an eternity until she heard a strange sound a gutteral scream almost carnal, she tensed ready to run until she realized it was her making the awful noise.  She quickly tried to pull it together, that couldn't have been her, Lola Michaelson the one and only survivor of the park view murders.  Surely she had to be stronger than that to rise up out the the blood and dirt and fight off an attacker more than twice her size.  Only what people didn't know what only her and...him, she still can't bring herself to say or even think his name, know is that he was never going to hurt her. She still felt the shame at the relief she felt the moment she made this revelation.  How even though ten of her friends, people she grew up with were dead she felt a short wave of relief when she knew for certain that he would never hurt her or allow her to be harmed in any way.  She despised herself for it, however, today wasn't a day to reminisce on past horrors today was a day of moving forward and moving on both literally and figuratively, for she was finally doing it.  Going away to college.  Moving to the small town of Williamsburg VA to attend the college of William and Mary , she had been dreaming of this day since seventh grade.  Her best friend Mila and her were supposed to take this journey together, to the slightly younger friend's grandmother's alma mater, it was actually Mila's idea, but sadly the beautiful girl didn't make it to this day, and Lola could never stop feeling like it was in some ways her fault. 
    She put those thoughts away and climbed behind the wheel, after all, she had a long trip ahead of her, one that would hopefully end with her becoming an entirely new creature in an entirely new place. Where she could make a new history for herself one not wrought with tragedy the way her real one was, after all wasn't that the whole goal of college? To make a new life for yourself.  She sure hoped so.
    After the longest drive she had ever taken countless cups of coffee and 7 bathroom breaks She pulls into the parking space designated for her as indicated by the paper work she held perhaps a bit too tightly in her right hand. Lola had never been more nervous in her life. She had heard it a million times "college isn't anything like high school" well with the way her senior year went, thank God for that. She paused for several seconds to compose herself before she finally exited her vehicle where she was immediately greeted by a tall blonde young man looking to be about twenty, "need any help? What dorm are you going to?" He asked "ummm...I'm not sure." Lola responded carefully gripping her pink bottle of pepper spray she had attached to her keychain. "You're not sure what dorm...or not sure you should tell me?" The boy inquires.  "Maybe...both." Lola almost asks.  "Ok I'm sorry I probably did that all wrong, I'm with a fraternity and I've been greeting freshmen all day so it's just sort of all running together right now...you're absolutely right not to trust a complete stranger asking where you live.  My name is Austin and I was wondering if you would like some help to move some of your things into your dorm?"  Just then two other boys run up before Lola even has a chance to respond.  one is unusually tall and muscular even more so than Austin who up until that point was probably the biggest boy Lola had ever seen, the other was of average height maybe even a little above average but appearing smaller next to these giants.  "So, who do we have here?" the smaller boy asks his voice is deep so deep it gives Lola a start.  "I'm not sure." Austin replies "I was just getting to that when you guys showed up."  "I'm Lola." She interrupts anxious to get this over with.   "Nice to meet you I'm Shaun" the other boy says "and this is Mason."  Just then Lola looks to the boy he points out as mason noticing him more fully, she stands mesmerized by his dark hair shiny like crow feathers and falling over his forehead and gracefully swooping to the side in a soft wave and the way his tan skin glistened in the Virginia humidity his muscles visible even under the t shirt he wore, he was quite possibly the most exquisite human being she had ever seen, aside from Conor her ex boyfriend and victim of the park view killer, was it ok to call him ex she wonders...they weren't together but would be if not for the tragedy.  Just then Lola comes back to reality all three boys staring at her quizzically "yes," she finally says "I would love some help." Hoping that was the correct response, she had to quit going back to that other place in her mind before people started to notice she wasn't quite right.  It seemed to be the answer they were waiting for because all three boys quickly started unloading the trunk as soon as she clicked the button on her key ring and it popped open. "We are going to Jefferson hall room 208." Lola says "oh awesome! you have ac in your dorm" Shaun says, sounding genuinely happy for her.  "Great" Lola responds thinking in the back of her head how nice it must be and how lucky it was for not having ac in their dorm to be these people's biggest problem...then the survivors guilt hits. How dare she be here enjoying this life without Mila and Conor how dare she come to this school that she wouldn't have even known about if it weren't for her darling Mila and stare almost longingly at another man even comparing him to Conor in a way. She pushes the thoughts out of her mind thinking of course they would want her to move on and start college and anyway she came here in honor of them...that's what she's been telling herself at least, and up until that moment she had believed it.