Camp Camp Max x Reader oneshots [COMPLETED]

A Secret...

Guys, I don't know how to get out of the closet. I feel like I need to stay in it forever or else everyone will reject me. I like girls the same way I like guys and don't know what to do. I'm scared what my brothers will think. I'm scared of what my dad will think of his little girl. I'm scared of what my mom will think of her perfect daughter. I thought I was going to be forever straight but then I realized that I'm attracted to girls too. I was basically gay as a kid and no one cared. Seriously I kissed my best friend and told her I wanted to marry her. And I do like guys like any other girl. There's a boy, who I'll just call "Human"for now. I have a "thin" with him. It's a "thing" but not calling it official. I said it's because my parents don't want me to date until I'm 80. But I really just want to keep him open minded of me and what I like. I have kept this "thin" for 6 months now. And half of those months I had a crush on one of my girl friends. And I felt disgusting. I've always wanted to marry a man but now I'm second guessing that. I wanted to hold her and protect her like I wanted to with Human. I wanted to be her shoulder to cry on for her past and whisper in her eye words of encouragement because I know she wanted to die. But she now moved away. I thought that once she'll move, I'll stop feeling like this but I don't. The day she left, I was close to kissing her. But didn't because I'm a stupid pussy. I keep talking with Human and he's such a sweet guy and is misunderstood by everyone and I wanna be there for him. I know that I just went on a tangent on this but I don't care. I'm scared of what my friends will say. All I know is that one is kinda homophobic and the others just thinks it another one of my phases. I've only really said anything close to this to one friend and she seemed awkward hearing it. She said that it's okay but I'm still not sure. Maybe I could still come out to my friends and they'll maybe understand my weirder actions. But for my family, I don't know. When I told my dad that I was going to see 'Love Simon' he didn't really want me to see it because it was a gay movie. I still saw it with my mom and she said that if that was her kid, she would understand but I heard her say that bisexuals are wrong and gross. I don't know what to do. I'm sorry this isn't a oneshot, I just wanted to ramble for a moment because this is the one place that no one in my life knows this is me.