Fallen

Chapter 5

After dinner, we had a little dancing competition. Joshua set up his new record player and we took turns with each of the ladies, dancing and running each other around the floor, listening to music, laughing and enjoying each other's company.

It was an interesting afternoon, watching the interactions between people. Joshua's mother seemed like a bitch, and he definitely seemed like he was not in the mood to deal with her bullshit. I noticed him looking in Martha's direction several times as he snapped at her, and I got the impression that if not for Martha and her insistence, Grandma Kay would not be invited...

Martha's parents were extremely old, and very frail, but they seemed like nice enough people.

By close to five, I had had more than my fair share of people. I whispered to Karly that I wanted to take a break, gave her a quick peck on the cheek, and quietly excused myself to step out her back door and stand on their spacious deck overlooking an absolutely enormous back yard. It had a swimming pool for God's sake!

The cold air hit me the instant I stepped outside. I was only wearing jeans and my warmup hoody, but I still was more than warm enough. I knew I would be for an hour or so, if that was how much time I needed to let my brain quiet and my anxiety go down. I was learning very quickly that even a small group in tight quarters was too much for me. It seemed like the more hectic it was, the harder it was to get my brain to quiet...

I noticed pleasantly that the snow had started back up. I was a little disappointed, and knew I was going to be letting my customers down by not being there to shovel them out tomorrow, but I consoled myself by reminding myself that I had let them know ahead of time that I was not going to be around, and giving them time to prepare.

Surprisingly, about five minutes after I stepped outside Joshua joined me. I was just sitting there in one of the enormous hardwood deck chairs they had, watching the snow silently fall when he stepped out on the porch.

I looked at him and he held up a cigar. "Do you mind?"

I smiled and shook my head, "No sir. Have at it."

He looked at me with a little smile on his face, one that truly touched his eyes and caused them to light up. "I brought an extra if you're interested."

I smiled back at him. Shaking my head, "No. Thank you though."

He nodded, looking out at the snow as it fell. He nodded to himself and I could see he was thinking...

He lit his cigar and blew smoke out into the cooling air. "Gets hard to handle, doesn't it?" he finally asked me.

I looked over at him. "What's that sir?"

He sat quietly for a moment, and I could tell he was trying to gather his thoughts. "So many people in a tiny space. So much going on around you. Your attention pulled in so many places at once. Seems like everyone is talking at once, and after a while you can feel the walls closing in on you."

I looked down in shame and chuckled, then looked out at the snow and let it calm my mind. "Yeah... I guess it does."

He nodded. Then sighed. I knew he was about to ask me something, and I could tell he didn't like asking me...

"You got my daughter some nice things..." He finally said.

I sighed, and continued watching the snow. I wasn't feeling terribly sociable... I knew what he was trying to say, and while I appreciated his attempt at being polite about asking, it still annoyed me that he felt he had to ask. "What you mean is I got your daughter some very expensive things. Right?"

I looked over at him and could see he was indeed embarrassed.

He smiled at me. Nodded his head. "Yeah."