Praying was something that the two men had never done before, yet they both found themselves on their knees begging and sobbing in front of the crooked alter.
So much blood. So fucking much.
Topher's hands shook and his eyes were so glazed over with tears he didn't think he'd ever be able to see again. He couldn't see anything but red. Red, red, and more red. The only sound was the lingering screams of the mother. It wouldn't leave his head. Over and over, repeating like some sort of sick fucking melody in his head.
Soon, the voices and screaming in his head were drown out by the sobs of the boy kneeling next to him.
They stayed like that for a while.
Both of them, kneeling and praying to whatever God or otherworldly power may be out there to bring some sort of savior to them. Bring them something, fucking punish them. He'd be grateful if God came down and stoned them to death for their sins. Anything to rid of the complete and utterly disgusting feeling of guilt pent up inside both of them. He couldn't focus on his own thoughts, he needed to focus on his thoughts. All he could hear was screaming and Kai's sobbing. Anger grew inside of him before he sat straight up from his kneeling position and took a deep breath.
"Kai."
He didn't respond, merely shoving his face farther into the dusty carpet of the abandoned church. The sobs were still audible, but considerably muffled by the floor.
Topher watched as the boys back rose and fell in a violent manner, his body shaking. He watched the boy sob until he couldn't anymore, now looking around the church. It had a quite gothic look to it, enunciated by the cobwebs and shattered windows. The stained glass was strewn across the floor and near the pews. Streams of light shone through the open windows. It illuminated random parts of the church, making it look slightly more homely — if that was even possible.
"We need to get out of here."
Once again, the boy didn't answer. Topher wasn't even sure if he heard him, but he repeated it again - this time he moved closer so that he was sitting on his knees right next to Kai. His knees were side by side with Kai's balled up body. He reached over to rub his back, hoping it would help in any-way possible. The sobs were more stretched out now, mostly just shaky breathing at this point.
Oh god, how he wished he could take away every ounce of pain from the boy kneeling in front of him. He knew they had fucked up, and there was no getting out of it this time. Kai didn't have to say anything for him to know that he was scared, not only of what they had done - but of what they were capable of.
Taking another shaky intake of breath, he began to speak. "I'm so sorry," he noticed Kai's sniffling halt, listening to his words, "I'm so fucking sorry. God, if you're listening, please help us. Do something. Make this go away, please!" His eyes traveled over the cracked statue of Jesus strung across the cross, his voice raising and cracking at the last sentence. He stood up to get a better view, although the statue still towered over him. His body swayed slightly as he stood, it felt like he couldn't control anything.
"We weren't meant for this. This wasn't supposed to happen, I-I promise. This isn't us! That wasn't us! W-We didn't have to do it but we did! Because we're fucked up a-and I'm sorry. I fucking swear on my sisters grave, if I c-could take it back I would in a heart-beat!"
Topher's eyes never left the statue, he was determined to make it hear every word he had to say. He wasn't even sure if God could hear him, or be able to make out his words because his sobs were mixing in with every word that spilt out of his mouth. God, send me a sign, please. A sign that you're here listening to me!
Kai was standing up now, watching as Topher sobbed into his hands. He moved so he was standing directly in front of the brunette boy.
"Look at me." It was more of a demand than a statement, and Topher dropped his hands from his face - finally looking into his eyes. They were completely bloodshot, and he wondered if his eyes looked the same. Blood was splattered all over the grey long-sleeve he was wearing, and a few splatters dripped down from his nose. It was crooked, now that Topher really looked at it - it was definitely broken. The father had put up a good fight, Topher was sure he cracked a few of his own ribs in the process. He couldn't help but wish the father had killed him right there, then he wouldn't have to be here. Looking into the eyes of the one he loved, the one he had gotten into this in the first place.
He wasn't dumb. He knew this wasn't the first time Kai had witnessed — or even partook — in something like that. The boy had told him about his step-father Seth, and about how he was at fault for Layla's death — but this, this was personal. Too fucking personal. He could almost laugh, might as well add this to the list of shit he's gotten Kai into. Drugs and murder, what a wonderful combination.
The guilt that ran through his heart almost felt immeasurable, like his heart could just explode into a million pieces at any second. "What are we g-gonna do, Toph? I can't do this, I keep seeing them a-and hearing them — "
Topher had cut him off with a swift kiss. It wasn't anything like in the movies. Fireworks didn't go off, butterflies weren't fluttering in his stomach. It was more like a peck, but it still meant something. When he pulled away he spoke, his voice croaky and swimming with thousands of emotions,
"We're gonna get through this. I fucking promise you. Right now we have to get cleaned up, yeah? And then we're gonna have to go back to the guys, and hope to God they're still sleeping," he let out a pained laugh - more pitiful than anything, "We'll figure something out. We're gonna get through this, together, okay? Okay?"
He grabbed the other boy's face with both his hands, cupping it and bringing him closer. In return, all Kai could offer was mumbling a small 'okay.' He knew if he spoke again he would break all over.
Topher couldn't help but wonder how many eternities they would spend in hell together for killing a preacher in front of his own wife.
