Tony: Rhodey.
Rhodey: Ok, what'd you do this time?
Tony: I uh... accidentally adopted a kid?
Rhodey: *facepalms* Tony, how in the name of fuck did you accidentally adopt a kid?
Tony: For once I actually have no idea
Peter: *bursts into the room* Hey look at me I'm a Spider *he jumps up onto the ceiling*
Tony: See what I'm dealing with?
Rhodey: Yeah, good lucky buddy. *Leaves the room*
Peter: Hey Mr Stark?
Tony: *from his place on the other side of the workshop* Uh, Yeah?
Peter: I uh... maybe managed to web my webshooters to the wall?
Tony: *turning around in his chair* Kid how the hell-
Peter: Did I mention I was still wearing them?
Peter: Hey Mr Stark I yeeted some guy across a street today-
Tony: Please, kid, use actual English.
Peter: I y e e t e d h i m a c r o s s t h e s t r e e t
Tony: Hey kid wanna go to comic con?
Peter: OMG yes! Wait I know who we should cosplay-
Tony: Oh god no
Peter: Okay so let me just get my phone, I'm sure I can order a fake Spidey-Suit from somewhere-
Tony: Kid no stOP-
Peter: And then we'll get you your Iron Man suit but like, fake-
Peter: Everything's under control, Mr Stark!
Tony: Oh my god?!?! No it's not?!?! You're literally bleeding everywhere-
Peter: I'M FINE
Tony: *distant screaming*
Peter: Hey wanna sing a duet?
Tony: What
Peter: Look it's the Found/Tonight thing that Ben and-
Tony: Peter I told you Dear Evan Hansen is too gay for me
Peter: and Lin Manuel-Miranda did
Tony: Lin? Did you say Lin? Hang on, let me grab my cosplay stuff-
Peter: *horribly out of tune* FuCk ThIs AnD fUcK tHaT aNd FuCk-
Tony: Kid I'd tell you off for swearing but that song is too much of a mood
Tony: *scrambles for phone* Dang it I need to play to proper song-
Ok sorry but uh
Here have some IronStrange content
Tony: When you said magical in bed, I didn't think you meant-
Stephen: *holds up a card* This was your card
Tony: Holy shit.
YOU ARE READING
"YOU LITTLE SHIT!!!"- The joys of parenting a Spider-Child
FanfictionBasically oneshots of Irondad and his Spiderson. Also Peter is my Spidey-Child, and Tom Holland is beautiful. Most of these chapters are just pure fluff, surprisingly.
