As i write this. I know i have friends who i can turn to. People who are even on here.. People who care.... but i dont. I cant. I cant do this. I cant hurt them... why am i like this?!?!? Why am i so okay one minute and then something small.... like a song lyric.... send me into such a state of nothingness.... and its not like i dont trust them but.... they just... wouldnt understand... Im starting to gain weight and just hit 100 lbs again. And i feel like shit. I should be happy. I should be able to see im getting better. But i dont. I feel sick all the tine. I want to scream. And cry. And leave. But i cant. Because im supposed to be getting better....
