The Cabin Mate

8:::Tylers Journal

🌻Josh's POV🌻

After dinner we were all walking back to the cabin. Before my brother went to his cabin a went to talk to him.

"Hey brother"
"Hi Josh"
"What's up? Anything new?" I ask
"No not really"
"Are you sure about that"
"Josh. Are you okay?" He asks me
"To be honest no, but that's not what we're talking about! Why were you and Jenna holding hands"

He froze and stopped what he was doing. He looked at me straight in the eye and said.

"Psh, it's nothing" He reply's
"Bullshit"
"Fine! We are kinda... sorta... dating..." He says quietly
"Yes! Finally!" I say jumping around
"Wha-"
"I can't wait to tell Ty- never mind" I say suddenly feeling sadness shower over me.
"Josh, are you okay?" Jordan ask
"Jordan, I am not. I'm not 100%. I'm not fine. I'm not okay." I say tearing up
"Hey come here" He says guiding me towards a bench
"I m-miss him a-a lot Jordan"
"I know you do. Do you mind telling me the whole story of what happened?" Jordan asks
"I-I guess"

By the time I was done explaining and Jordan making me feel better it was 11PM. We've been out here for 4 hours already.

"Thanks Jordan" I say hugging him
"You're welcome, if you need to talk to anyone you can talk to me. I'm your brother. You can trust me"
"I know, thanks again"
"Bye Josh. Don't beat yourself up"

I wave goodbye while walking the opposite direction of him. I get to the cabin feeling better then ever. I'm glad I have Jordan as a brother.

While I was looking for my sweatshirt I found Tyler's journal under the bed. I was hesitant to open it, I didn't want to make myself sad again. The voice in my head kept telling me to open it. I realized that I never win against the voice. I walk out of the cabin and sit on the steps with Tyler's journal in my arms.

I hesitantly open to a random page. I read the date indicating that this was on the day Tyler had the nightmare.

'I had a nightmare last night. He was telling me I was worthless and that everyone hates me especially Josh. Honestly that was the scariest one I've had. I felt like something was suffocating me. I felt like I was dying. I couldn't breathe. It was also scary because I never want Josh to think of me like that. I don't want him to hate me. I wouldn't know what I would do if he actually did hate me, or if he just left me like how everyone else does. You know, I think I'm getting a little crush on Josh. Wow okay now I sound like a 10 year old girl. Anyways! I just feel so comfortable around Josh. Like I can tell him anything. I love how he can comfort me like how Brendon does or how my mom does (sometimes). If I feel down Josh will instantly make me feel better. His presence makes me instantly happier. His smile can make me swoon. Okay now I actually sound like a 10 year old. Let me obsess over Josh! Okay! I love how he never gives up on me, or how he always knows something is wrong. When something bad happens I will go to our spot we always go to, them Josh eventually finds me there, sad and lonely. He will do anything to make me happier or at least to make me feel the tiniest bit better. He doesn't have to try hard though. I think I love him, I actually think I do. I can't allow myself to. Hey Tyler, remember the time in 9th grade where you cried every night because your crush didn't like you anymore. Yeah that's why you can't love Josh. Wow I love talking in third person. I know something bad is going to happen, sooner or later. Bye journal. See you later.
•good things never last•"

That's cute I think to myself. He signs off with a quote. At this point I'm tearing up. Realizing how much Tyler actually love me. I hate how he has to fight himself just so he can love me.

I decided to open to other random page. A page near the front of the book. The date was around 3 weeks before camp.

"I can't do this anymore, I can't live like this. No one loves me. I don't even love myself. The only person that cared about me was Brendon. But he left a month ago. I didn't know someone leaving could affect me that much. I miss him. I miss staying up all night talking about our lives and pointless things. I miss how much I used to be happy when he was here. Not just that time but even earlier. I miss all the days I used to be happy. I think I'm going to kill myself. I don't know when. I don't know how. He wants me too. I want to. It would have to be after July because of camp. I just want to see how it would be. If it's boring and all then I will kill myself soon after camp. If something bad happens during camp I'll do it soon after camp. If I go home during camp then that's when I will. That's when I'll do everyone a favour. If anyone finds this. I'm sorry I hated myself. I'm sorry mom. I'm sorry Jay. I'm sorry Brendon. If someone important is reading this. I'm sorry. If you actually loved me, then you would realize how broken I am. If you're someone really important. I love you. Bye journal.
•One day, something important will come true•

Now I'm actually crying. And freaking out. Did Tyler mean this. Is he going to kill him self after or during camp. I need to know if he's okay.

I run to Cherry's office. I knock very loud and quickly.

"Josh? What are you doing up? It's 12AM?"
"I really need to use your phone. It's an emergency!"
"Okay, okay. Phone is right here"

Tyler told me his moms number before. I don't know why I remember it.

Ring
Ring
Ring
Ring

Answer god dammit!

Ring
Ring

"Hello?" I hear a woman on the line
"Is this Mrs Joseph!?" I ask
"Yes, Who's this?"
"My name is Josh, I'm Tyler's friend. Is he okay!?"
"Oh sweetie"

Oh no.

"W-What's wrong!?"
"T-Tyler is currently in the hospital, he slit his wrists... too deep" She replied
"Oh m-my god. Is h-he good right n-now though, like I-is he going t-to make it!?" I ask while sobbing in between words.
"I think he'll be okay. Are you the Josh he was talking about?" She asked
"What do y-you mean?"
"He said that he broke someone named Josh"
"Y-yeah, t-that m-me" I say trying not to cry harder then I am already.
"Are you okay?" She asked

I could say anything. I had to tell Brendon, I need to see Tyler. I need to know if he is okay.

I rush up out of the door. I heard Cherry say something but continued toward Brendon's cabin. I open the door without knocking. I open the door seeing Brendon and Dallon having a full on make out.

"N-Not even going t-to ask" I say
"Oh hey Josh, what's up?" Brendon says walking outside the cabin with me.
"T-Tyler"
"What's wrong!? What happened!?"
"His m-mom said h-he's in the hospital, he s-slit his wrists" I say crying again.
"Actually!"

I say nothing and nod.

"Oh my god" Brendon's voice cracks and he also starts crying.
"Is he okay though?" He asks
"His mom s-said he should b-be"
"We have to go to Columbus, we have to make sure he's okay"
"How? How would we get there?" I ask
"I can just call one of my friends to pick us up" He says while pulling out his phone
"Wait, how do you have a phone?" I ask
"There's a plugging in every cabin and I get wifi from Cherry's office"
"Oh"

While we were waiting for his friend to get here I decided to go back to my cabin and tell everyone about Tyler.

After I told everyone, everyone was crying. Including Ashley surprisingly. Brendon came and told me we had to go now. I followed him towards a truck waiting at the entrance. We get into the truck an instantly drive to Columbus.

///WoOw Okay, hi. 4:34 AM. I'm not okay. I have nothing to say except I haven't read other this yet so judge my mistakes. Stay street.\\\