* 2 weeks later....* It's been weeks since what had happened with Lilly and I. I haven't been in touch with Grayson nor Ethan. I've been alone in this house. Thinking. Being lost in my own person.
Grayson has been calling me non- stop. Ethan also. I— couldn't answer... I'm broken and I feel like no one cares. Even if I answer my phone, talk about it. They wouldn't give any fucks.
I haven't left my bed. I haven't ate in a while. It's finally time where I just get out this stinky old bed and clean myself up.
I pick myself up and walk to the bathroom. I open the light. My eyes squint from the lightness coming from the bright vanity lights.
"Oh god. Why on earth do I look like that?" I say to myself, scrunching my face. I turn on the sink, take a handful of the water and splashed it on my face — more like all over my shirt and hair.
I blindly find a face towel behind me and wipe my face on it. I start taking off my clothes and jump in the shower.
After 2 hours in this hot ass shower. I grab a towel, twist it onto my hair, and wrap another one around my body.
I go in my bedroom. Put on a black shirt with some yellow accents on the collar and the sleeves. Paired with some wide legged jeans and black doc martens.
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I plopped down on my couch, my wet hair flying around. Turning on the tv and start chilling.
I see my phone vibrating and ringing on my coffee table. I slid up and grabbed my phone. I turned it over and saw it was Grayson calling... once again.
I breathed in and breathed out. Heavy. And answered it.
"Hello?" His voice seemed so worried, and relieved.
"Hi." I said softly.
"Maya? Oh my god. Where have you been? I've been trying to call you for weeks." He says.
"I know... I—I saw. I just... needed some time. I guess." I say playing with a strand of my wet hair.
"Maya, Look. I know what happened a few weeks ago. I know—"
"How do you know? Grayson? How do you even know me? Cause you don't know me at all Grayson." I snap.
"I do know you Maya. I know that your jaw clenches when your mad. I know that you clap your hands together whenever you are laughing hard. I know that whenever you look at me, your pupils grow bigger. I know that you squeeze me until I can't breathe, because you love me."
A tear comes down from my eye. "Grayson... I'm lost. I can't—I can't stay here."
"What? What do you mean?." His voice cracks.
"I've moved on. I need to get out of here. I need to start a new life. A new career. I need to be happy." I tell him.
"Maya... I love you."
I sob. I couldn't say it back. Because I don't know if I do. My heart is all over the place. I can't love someone, if I can't love myself. So, I hang up on him.
I throw my phone, and sob on my couch. Just... completely heartbroken. And broken. I completely lost myself.
••••••••••••••• hi! finally i have updated! i have related this chapter to what i have been feeling for the past few weeks. that's why i haven't been posting as much.
i will post when i feel like to. and i think i feel pretty motivated. i may update my other books at well! i hope you guys enjoy this book so far! there will be sad moments in the next chapters. it is based on what is going inside my head. because i feel like turning deep shit in my head into a story helps me. so that's what i'm doing.
