Who do you choose?

Blast from the past

Jinyoung, Park Jinyoung. The only thing that scares me. Not him physically, let's just say I can handle my own. But what he could do to me....  

What he already has done to me. He ruined my life, so in return I ruined his. What happened between his parents and mine.... 

We should have teamed up with each other been each other's peace not war. We should've fought, we shouldn't have let what happened between our parents define what was going to happen to us but it did. 

My father ruined me, his father ruined him, we both felt the same thing. But yet he did the very thing he hated the most, he cheated. 

Jinyoung is two years older than me I was a freshman he was a junior. He was the boy everyone wanted, nobody ever knew his name they only ever knew his grade so that's what everyone called him, Junior. 

He was the most attractive boy at our school, Captain of the football team. He had all of the girls swooning over him. But he always said he chose brains over beauty. Which was me, I was a straight A student my dad is Korean but my mom is African American. She left America to come to Jiinhae-gu to raise me with my father. 

Koreans aren't the biggest fans of interracial relationships led along interracial children. Therefore my childhood wasn't the best nobody ever let they're kids play with me. I never had friends, when we'd go to the park the people would look at us like we were outsiders I never really felt at home in my home.

My appa always used to tell me that I was his and he was 100% Korean, he told me just because I am mixed with African American doesn't make me any less Korean. I spoke Korean, went to a Korean church, praised Korean gods, So why wasn't I considered Korean?

All throughout my elementary school years and middle school years I was treated as an animal because I had more meat. I guess because y'know I got that nice African American booty. I got all the good genes and I can't help it but am I considered a pig because of my thighs and my ass? 

I grew up hating myself because of this I never had any stomach but it didn't matter I'd go nights without eating. Trying every dieting routine and excersizing, I ended up overworking myself and passed out. I was in the hospital for a week, my eomma was upset she had to come all the way back from America to Korea for something she called a minor problem. It wasn't that she didn't love me but that's another chapter for another time.

Once I got to highschool I was ready for it to continue to be the outcast, the alien, the nigger, but it didn't happen all because of him. Junior came in my life and I was different.

We had third period together he was rude to everyone, so I never said anything to him. One day the teacher told us to pick partners and he came up to me for a minute I didn't know he was there so I continued writing.

"Excuse Me Miss?"

"Yeeessss?." I Said finally looking up.

"The teacher told us to pick partners and I choose you." I started giggling.

"Me? You want to be partners with me." I said not believing a word he said.

"Yeah, what's wrong with that." He said looking confused.

"Well I'm no captain of the cheer team, sooo."

"I don't want any captain of the cheer team I want you."

"Okay." I blushed not really knowing what to say.

We worked together for weeks I honestly didn't know what the project was tbh, but he explained it to me nicely. 

I found myself falling in love so easily I guess it's those 9th grade hormones you know. 

On the last day of the project he confessed his feelings to me and told me he loved me, and I like a fool believed him.

"Lanii?"

" Yes,."

"Do you love Daddy?." The name he makes me call him instead of hyung.

"Y-yes."

"You sounded unsure. Are you okay?" Yeah, I'm fine I lied. But I couldn't shake the feeling growing inside of me It was like-like I needed him.

"Do you love me daddy?."

"Of course, daddies have to love their babies."

And thus started a toxic ass relationship.

He started drinking which got him kicked off of the football team and getting his spot taken by his best friend Jackson. Once he got kicked off he became abusive and me being the dumbass I was let it happen because "Daddies love their babies." And I was Young and dumb. 

Then he started skipping school and bringing me with him just to have sex. I felt like I was being used but at the same time my mom and dad works 24/7 so he was the most love and affection I felt in a while. For a moment he stopped beating me and I thought everything was going to be okay but I was wrong, so wrong. 

He kept saying I reminded him of "that man" but I didn't know who he was talking about. But every time he got drunk he would beat me. So I started drinking and smoking too so that when he hit me I couldn't feel the pain anymore.

After that, he stopped sleeping with me and I really started to feel neglected so I turned to stronger drugs. After a while I started to feel numb, started skipping school too and not even just with jinyoung but by myself that was until an angel saved me. That angel being named Jackson wang.

Jackson was jinyoungs best friend and always made sure that we were both straight. Jackson had always came second place to jinyoung no matter what. In football jinyoung made varsity he made junior varsity, with girls they always went for jinyoung first. 

             Me, Jackson wanted me first, jinyoung didn't even notice me,but Jackson did he pointed me out and i guess ever since then jinyoung tried to get with me. Which eventually happened and even though me and Jackson only talked a few times he had really strong feelings for me but being the man he is he stepped down and let Jinyoung take me.

If I would have know that Jackson wanted me first trust me I would've been with him. But again I guess jinyoung beat him.

I never understood what happened to jinyoung he was the best at everything, He was the star he had it all, but I guess that shows you that everything isn't what it seems.

Jackson Wang &' Park Jinyoung against the world right? Wrong! 

 They thought they could make it through anything.

Who knew that I would be the one thing in the world they couldn't make it through.