part of me | e.d

twenty-nine

ethan runs his hands through his hair, furrowing his eyebrows while he stares down at the paper.

"i told you," kara says, crossing her arms.

ethan stands now, throwing the paper on the ground. "i still don't believe it. you probably messed with the results."

kara scoffs. "i cannot believe you're still doing this ethan. but fine, here." she hands him her phone. "the phone number to the doctor's office is on the bottom of the paper. call them yourself."

ethan narrows his eyes at her, taking the phone. then he grabs the paper from the floor again, dialing the number to call them.

i just sit there, biting my lip. the paper said he was the father. i could feel my heart shattering already. and kara looks so sure; she can't be lying anymore.

ethan stands there, phone to his ear. "hello? yeah, this is ethan dolan. i'm calling to confirm some DNA test results for kara becker."

i can see his chest heaving. he looks so nervous.

"yeah, i'll hold." he says into the phone. he finally glances at me, worry pooling in his eyes.

kara rolls her eyes, then smiles smugly at me. she gives me a look that says you lost. 

i can't say i don't agree with her right now.

"uh huh," ethan says a few moments later. "okay. thank you." he hangs up the phone, and i can see the tension in his shoulders building. he just stands there, almost in shock.

then he finally breaks. he falls to the ground, resting on his knees while he runs his hands through his hair, then covers his face with them. his shoulders heave up and down as he tries containing his quiet sobs.

kara laughs. "i told you, sweetie. now, we have another appointment in two weeks, okay? i'll see you there." she walks over to him and leans down to caress his neck, then she stands and walks out the front door.

i sit there frozen on the couch, still numb. ethan keeps crying silently.

he finally looks up at me, his eyes red and puffy as tears coat his cheeks. "ry, i'm sorry. i'm so sorry." he comes over to me, trying to grab my hands but i look away from him and move out of his reach.

he just stares at me in confusion, eyebrows furrowed and lips parted slightly. "ry-"

"don't, ethan."

i hated doing this to him. but how could we possibly be together now? he's having a baby with kara. this entire time, i tried ignoring it, hoping it wouldn't work out this way. but here we are now with the truth.

i don't want to raise kara's baby and spend my life with kara in it. i think i deserve better than that.

i stand up, starting to walk to the door. "rylin! don't leave me, please. not like this, rylin, please." he pleads, grabbing my hand.

"ethan, i can't do this anymore." i try pulling my hand out of his grasp, but he holds on tighter. 

"you promised me you'd never leave me, rylin. you promised." his voice breaks as he keeps trying to pull me to him.

i turn around looking directly into his eyes. "that was before we found out kara's baby is yours too."

i yank my hand, freeing it from his grasp. "rylin, please don't go. baby, please." he begs, and i can feel tears flowing down my cheeks now. 

my chest tightens; it's almost as if my heart is physically tearing apart.

but it couldn't be any other way. i didn't want it to be any other way.