Harry, derobed, revealed what looked to be a purple headed troll under a powerful levitation spell.
Hermione swooned on her feet, dizzy with the sensory input.
He sprang to her, eager to bludgeon her golden sneetch.
There, in the rubble, they rutted.
Three halls away, a shaken student heard the screams and pulled his wand, thinking Hogwarts was under a secondary attack.
Hermione shuddered like a dew-leaf in a hurricane, the boy's snake more cunning and deft than the monstrous Nagini.
An eternity they writhed, sweaty limbs slapping and sliding.
The Boy Who Would Not Cum.
She licked his scar with her hot tongue and he buckled, filling her with hot magic.
High in a corner, the Eye of Mad-Eye Moody watched, wishing it had a penis to wail upon.
The pair collapsed to the floor, chests heaving. Hermione fanned herself with an ancient book.
Harry playfully produced his Patronum, his stag was smoking a cigarette.
They laughed.
From the doorway: "What's so bloody funny?"
Ron had entered, drawn by the screams. His face, naturally ruddy, was as red as a bloody sunset.
Hermione shrieked, pulling her robe over her slick globes.
Harry staggered to his feet, his sleeping soldier dangled and shrank.
"Er..." he began.
"Er nothing you slimy git. That's MY girl you just snogged. Me brother not even cold in the ground."
"Fred?" Harry asked.
"George." Hermione said.
"I don't know." Ron said. "Doesn't matter mate. You just made a fatal mistake, Mister Chosen One."
He snatched his wand, drawing it back to hurl a facefull of curses at his naked cuckolder.
"RON NO!"
Too late.
"Cruci-"
"Expelliarmus!"
Ron's wand flung to the far wall, clattering to the ground. Harry was livid.
"You bloody git. That was an unforgivable curse."
"For an unforgivable act, mate!"
Hermione ran between them, crying.
"Stop it, both of you! Our friends are still lying dead around us! You're upset, you don't know what you're doing!"
Ron smiled maniacally.
"Oh, I know exactly what I'm doing. This poncer has been riding that scar ever since his first day at Hogwarts. It's time he's brought down a peg!"
Ron leaped for his wand, Harry knocked it further away with a flick of his own.
"Stop, Ron! You know you can't beat me. I just killed Voldemort for Pete's sake!"
"That's exactly your problem mate! You think you're invincible, don't you? Dumbledore and Sirius and all of them drummed you up to believe you're so damn special!"
" Don't you talk about Sirius!"
"That fucking pooch got what he deserved!"
Ron gave up on his wand and just came at Harry, ginger flists flying.
Harry fought the urge to disfigure him, and through gritted teeth muttered "petrificus totalus."
Ron immediately dropped to the floor like a plank of wood.
"Chickenshit." he mumbled through frozen lips.
"Harry! That was dangerous! He could have hit his head!"
"He could have hit MY head!"
Hermione fiddled with her fingers, in her haste to get dressed she had left a few buttons undone. Harry couldn't pull his eyes away from her slick cleavage as she fretted. She had awakened something inside him, a new fire that felt like could never be quenched. No, not with a thousand gallons of her juices.
She turned to him, her eyes big and wet.
"Okay, set him free."
"N-no way. He'll just come for me again!"
"No he won't. Will you, Ron.."
"Bloody right I will you git." Ron mumbled.
"SEE!"
"RON!"
Harry kicked a pile of rubbish to the side, storming away.
"I'm out of here!"
"But you have to release Ron!"
"Hermione, don't act helpless. You know every spell I know and then some."
"Well I suppose..."
"Chickenshit."
"RON!!"
Harry left.
2
The halls of Hogwarts were full of dumbstruck students, some wailing for a lost classmate, others just sat numb and blackened from debris. A young boy walked by, his face pouring spiders from every orifice. A Death Eater had hexed him and he had found no teacher to heal him yet.
Harry stopped.
"Hey kid.."
The boy kept walking, dropping spiders in his path that promptly ran to hide under the baseboards.
Ah screw it.
Word was being spread by mouth that Professor McGonagall was having a meeting in the cafeteria for the survivors, they were forming search parties for the wounded and dead.
Harry wanted no part of that.
"Harry?"
A voice from behind.
He turned, Luna Lovegood stood there holding a cooking spoon and a big onion.
"Err Luna? What are you.."
"The battle isn't over Harry. There are still Fudnicking Flutterdingies to be found and vanquished.
Her eyes were vapid and roaming, even more so than usual.
"Er, Fudnicky..."
"Yes. Do you want to help?"
"I uh...better help with the search parties."
She shrugged, walking past him. Her dress was torn and wet, revealing a bottom that curved like a Spring Peach. Her legs ran impossibly long from a set of delicate ankles all the way up to what was surely a dewy patch of undiscovered..
On second thought.
"Hey Luna wait up!"
