Strange Desires

Hate Is Heavy, Let It Go...

Chapter 4

Cassie P.O.V

I could feel his wet lips, starving on my ears as he kept nibbling, making me breath in whimpers. Then he whispered ,

"I am sorry Bells... I am so so sorry. But you aren't in state of being told anything. But I promise..."

His warm tears dropped on my right cheek as his mumbling continued,

"I promise, I'll tell you everything. BUT YOU'VE TO BE PATIENT. ANDD... You have to TRUST ME. Let it go.. just let it go for now.. please... don't hold anything bells. I know you can't control your feelings but.. anything you can't control teaches you to let it go.."

I heard his voice trembling and my cold unshed tears broke the bank of my eyes, dropped and mixed with his warm tear drop that was still intact with my pale skin,...running down my neck. He gently caressed my neck, removing my tears aside.

I still had my gaze fixed on him. His body was as still as a hunting dog. And as for me, my heart was burning with outrage feelings. We seemed strangers. He was just like a stranger who knew me too well, and me.. I was a stranger of my captivating existence. He was now silent but his eyes were speaking, and then I gathered some courage to speak up.

"John.. H-h-How strange is it, that after all that.., we are strangers again."

My word twitched up his ears and I felt as he gripped my hands more intensely for they were still pinned on the wall by his hands.

"You know nothing Bells. You lost your memories, O-o-Our precious memories.. You forgot everything.." Tears began running from his eyes down to my cold skin.

"Plea... Please don't hate me. I don't have the courage to face it. Bells...you have to let it go.. you'll never be able to fly to our past with the weight of hate on your wings. Hate is too heavy,.. Let it go.. please, just listen to me. Please give me some time. Please..."

He had sincerity in his eyes. I tumbled down my gaze and watched our mixed tears dropping on the ground from my cheeks. Its so hard... How am I supposed to let it go for now??? HOW?! I had known that he knew about me more than he tells but... I couldn't even imagine this! HE KNEW FROM SINCE WE BOTH WERE KIDS?! THATS TOO MUCH TO TAKE IN!!

But..at the same time... I wanted to trust him. I don't know why but my heart tells me to trust him. I looked him in the eye, filled with emotions that even I was unable to describe.. But he understood. He loose up his grip from my hands. He removed my hair from my face to behind my ears. He gently caressed my cheeks and said,

"If you'll look to others for fulfillment, you will never be fulfilled. If your happiness depends on curiosity and answers, you will never be happy with yourself. Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the world belongs to you. You have my words Bells. I'll tell you everything when the time comes. Be patient and don't be too hard on yourself"

I took a deep sigh and let it out, throwing my breaths on his neck as he softly smiles at me a way that reflected his pain, his urge to expose and to help me go away my worries. Okayy Its gonna be okay. My heart whispered to me. I believe him.

I returned back the smile to him that he deserved.

John's P.O.V

I saw a kind of satisfaction in edge of her eyes. I saw a sweet smile on her tempting lips that calmed me down. The fires burning inside my chest were now cooling. I saw her and kept gazing her blue ocean eyes that were too deep for me to resist. My sweet Bells.. MY QUEEN. I'll remove all the pains of your life. I'll do every thing even if it costs my life. And that's a promise.