Silence

12 - Why is this happening?

His lips are soft against mine. For a second he seems surprised, his hands still in the air. After a few seconds he lowers them to my back and hugs me pulling me closer to him. I recognize the feeling from yesterday, it's intoxicating.

The kiss is just as overwhelming, but less angry and more passionate.

There's this silence again, as if time stood still. I forget everything, I don't know what I'm doing or why I'm doing this but right now, I don't care. I realize that I wanted to kiss him again, and it annoys me.

As he kisses me back one of his hands wanders to the side of my neck while the other one rest on my waist, gently pulling me towards him. My hands are tangled in his dark curls tugging them slightly.

He pauses for a second and we look at each other, both out of breath. Then he twists me around to push me against the door with his entire body. He brings his lips back to my face and kisses me along my jaw until he reaches my neck. I can feel his breath on my skin and the sweet trail of kisses he leaves there.

I moan slightly and regret it immediately, feeling him grin against my neck.

I gently swat his arm and bring his lips back to mine kissing him again.

What the hell am I doing, what is wrong with me, I hate this guy.

All I know is that I can't stop.

As if someone is reading my mind, the second bell rings and we pull away from each other, still only inches apart. My breathing is heavy. I just stare at him without an explanation for what just happened.

A smirk appears on his face and annoyance rises immediately in my stomach. 

We make sure no one is left on the corridor before slipping out of the door. Now we're just awkwardly standing in front of each other.

"Nice talk, James." he says with a mischievous smile on his face.

I just glare at him and turn around to walk away. He lets me but I can hear him chuckle behind me. I am even more confused now than before.

I'm already late for class but I go anyway. I'd rather think about economics than being left alone with my thoughts about Felix.

I mumble an apology to my teacher, Miss Garber and sit down next to Parker who is curiously looking  at me.

"So? What happened?" he whispers to me while the class continues.

I give him an annoyed look and point to the front acting as if I was incredibly interested in economics.

I can't fool him, he chuckles lightly but lets it go, for now.

The thing is, I don't even know what happened myself. This time, I kissed him, and I have no idea what to make of that. 

I get home earlier than usual, probably because I've been trying to avoid meeting anyone who could ask me about what happened with Felix. I was able to dodge Parkers questions after class but I know I'll have to talk to someone eventually.

I plop down on the kitchen chair with a bowl of cereal when I receive a text message.

Unknown: So are we gonna do that again James?" 

I don't have to ask who it is, I can practically see the grin plastered on Felix's face.

Katie: How did you get this number?

Felix: Your friend Stephanie gave it to me.

Of course Stephanie would give him my number, I'll have to kill her later.

Felix: You didn't answer my question.

I type furiously.

Katie: No, we're not gonna do that again, EVER!

Felix: Weird, why don't I believe you?

I don't answer him and he doesn't text anything else either. I imagine he must be incredibly satisfied with himself right now. 

I spend the rest of the day trying to occupy myself. It kind of works but my thoughts always go back to Felix, and also Jesse.

I don't even like Felix. I like Jesse. I despise Felix.

I give up trying to explain it to myself and go to bed early.

Friday goes by quickly, I avoid any confrontation with Felix. Whenever I accidentally glance at him his shoots me his best grin and it drives me crazy, he knows exactly what he his doing to me. I just want to punch him really hard.

I meet Stephanie outside school on my way to the parking lot.

"Hey Steph."

"Hi." she answers. She looks kind of upset.

"You okay?" I ask her a little worried.

"Yeah don't worry about it. Jules and I got into a little fight." 

"I'm sorry.. You wanna talk about it?" 

"No it's okay, we'll figure it out."

"I know you will!" I give her my best smile and she returns it weakly.

"Can you give me a ride home?... I came with Jules." she asks.

"Sure, get in." 

Only two minutes after leaving the school parking lot Stephanie starts ranting about some silly argument with Jules. I just listen and let her speak. I know it's smarter not to get involved when these two fight. I prefer just to be there for both of them until the figure it out. 

After telling me everything she seems to feel better and changes the subject immediately sounding much  more cheerful again.

"Soo.. did Felix text you by any chance?" great.

"Yeah about that, are you crazy giving him my number?" I say a little angry but I know she just meant well so I'm not really mad at her.

"I thought you guys needed to talk. And I know how you are, Katie, you run away from awkward situations, I just wanted to speed things up a little bit." 

I sulk a little but then decide to tell her what happened in school yesterday.

I'm not sure if I feel better or worse after telling her about the kiss. She seems delighted and is probably already planning our wedding.

"So you like him, right?" she asks after calming down a little.

"That's the thing Steph, I really don't." I sound bitter.

"Well there's definitely sexual tension between you guys. Anyway see you!" she says cheerfully while climbing out of my car.

"Later Steph!" I mumble pulling out of her driveway.

Hearing her say sexual tension when talking about Felix and me makes me feel a little uneasy. But I guess there's no point in denying it now is there?