Butterfly Years

Chapter 14

Hey Syaz,

If you're reading this, it means that you know I've left. How are you? Please don't miss me too much. 

I honestly don't know what I'm supposed to be writing here. I guess I'll just write whatever comes to my mind.

The first thing I want to say is, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being so distant when you called me, then I'm sorry for leaving without telling you. But it's not just that... I'm sorry for being a jerk and troubling you for all these years. I'm sorry for all the poking, pinching, teasing and bullying.

But you need to know why I did it. When we were small, we used to hang out together without a care in the world. But when we grew up, it became harder for us to spend time together. So I used to tease you for a pathetic excuse to be around you.

Truth is, I didn't even know why I needed to be around you. Heck, I was completely clueless. It was just like my body went into autopilot mode.

Am I making any sense here? I'm sorry... This is hard; to write a letter to you when all I want to do is see you again, to see your beautiful smile and your caring eyes.

Hey, I found something to tell you. Do you remember all those names I used to tease you with? I want to explain them here... I called you Angel because you were my Angel. When I felt down and sad, all I had to do was tease you. Then you would smile and laugh, and you would cure me completely.

I used to call you cupid because, well, I was blaming cupid for making me fall oh-so-very hard for you.

And I used to call you Syazzy because I was so, so jealous of Sabby having a special nickname for you. I know they're all pathetic excuses but... I guess I just wanted to tease you.

Aiden talked to me, Syaz. He showed me how much I was hurting you, and preventing you from having fun. He told me how I was pulling you down with my sad situation. I know I shouldn't have listened to him, after all, we have been rivals for so long, but I realised there was truth in what he said. I don't want to be in the way, Syaz. You deserve a better life. You're a special person... You have Sabby, Tia, Marco and Carlo... They'll all protect you. I've already told some senior guys from my pack to look out for you. If Aiden tries anything, you're safe.

The day you called me, on Friday, my godparents were over. They told me that it was best that I moved in with them. When I didn't say anything, they went on and said that there were too many memories of dad at home, and I needed a new start. Then they pulled out the ace: mom was back home with them. I couldn't say no after that. Jen really needed mom; I couldn't deprive her of something like that.

So here I am, living with mom in an apartment close to my godparents. This is where we'll be living. Mom will be with us now. I'm attending school here, because its closer "home"...at least, that's what I'm gonna have to call this place.

No matter what they say, and no matter how wrong it is, I'll always belong right there at my old and real home, playing basketball with Sabby and annoying you.

Syaz, you know how a butterfly - flying around without any apprehension - makes you feel so free and peaceful and just happy? You're my butterfly, Syaz. These years I've spent with you are going to be the best years of my life. Thank you for those butterfly years, Syaz.

Please don't ever change. Be the same beautiful, caring and happy girl you've always been. You'll find your happy ever after, I promise you.

Goodbye Syaz. Have a good life ahead and I wish you all the best.

Don't forget me!

Ryan Wong

(and I know this is really corny but...)

p.s. I love you