Deafening Silence (Construction/Re-Writing Beginning March 2020)

Chapter 1 (Updated 3.3.2020)

Daniella's POV

Speaking from personal experience, being the younger sister of a famous actress and singer is interesting, it comes with its perks and it comes with its hard times. Being the younger sister of a Disney Pop Princess especially comes with its own perks but it's also stressful, people expecting things out of you and you never get to have any normal life ever again.... especially the few times you get to hang out with your sister when she isn't working on her TV show or new music or you aren't hating your life because school.

You might be asking who my sister is, she's Demetria Devonne Lovato and my name is Daniella Sage Lovato. Demi and I were born exactly a year apart and we often to refer to each other as twins even though we have a year between us. She's not just my older sister, she's my best friend and my partner in crime. Demi is currently on the Camp Rock 2 Live Tour in South America with our dad while our mom stayed back for the majority of the tour to make sure that Dallas, Maddie and I wouldn't kill each other and that Maddie and I actually went to school because Dallas would have totally let us ditch if we just asked. To say that I missed her was an understatement, I loved Dallas and Maddie but we didn't have nearly as close of a bond as Demi and I did.

It's 6:15 am, Mom was driving me to school and then heading to Desperate Housewives studio lot with Maddie since she had to be on set today. Out of the blue, mom's phone dinged in indication that she got a text. When we got to a red light, she picked up her phone and read the text. From the corner of my eye, I was able to see it was from Demi.

"I'm sorry ahead of time" is what the text read. I saw the color drain from my mom's face as she immediately began trying to call Demi. The phone rang over the Bluetooth in mom's car and when she couldn't get ahold of her, she tried to calling dad. The light turned from Red to Green and mom didn't begin to move. I knew she was too preoccupied in trying to get ahold of Demi of Eddie. When the cars behind us started to honk their horns, she took notice and started to drive. It took multiple phone calls going to voicemail before Eddie finally picked up his phone.

"Not now Dianna," he said.

"No, now, Eddie," Mom retorted.

Eddie sighed into the phone, I could hear the stress and anger that he was feeling. Eddie wasn't our real dad but he sure treated us like he was, he loved and cared for us the same way that he loved and cared for Maddie.

"Where is Demi," mom asked.

"She's right here, next to me," Eddie said
"Is she alright?"
"Yes...no...not really. We are on a plane. She punched a backup dancer. You and I will talk about everything when her and I get home tonight."

"Okay."

With that mom hung up the phone and turned at me, I saw how worried she was about Demi.

"Don't worry Daniella, she's going to be fine. It's nothing that this family can't fix" mom said to me.

I rolled my eyes at her use of my full first name rather than her calling me Dani. But at the same time, I knew that she was on a bad headspace at the moment so I let it go. I also knew that she was saying that more for her benefit than my own. While I'm worried about my sister, as her secret keeper and her lifeline, I've known that she has been mentally broken for a long time and has needed some sort of help for a long time. I'll never forget the first time that I walked in on her self harming.

"I know mom."

While I said that, I couldn't help but to think of the times that I saved Demi from herself, the times that I've had to be her savior have left their own scars on me. But I never told anyone about these times because I was more scared of Demi hating me for telling than I was about what she was doing. The first time, I was around 12 or 13 years old. I walked into the bathroom that we shared with Dallas, and she was standing there holding her bloody wrist under the water with a bloody razor blade sitting on the vanity. At that age, I knew what she was doing it but could not understand why she was doing it.

"Dem? Are you okay sissy," I questioned my older sister.

Demi was visibly startled by my voice because she jumped when she heard me.

"Yeah, bubba. I'm fine. Go back to our room Dani and I'll be there in a second," Demi said as she looked just at me.

"Okay."

"Close the door behind you and you better not tell anyone, cause if you do then I'll hate you for the rest of my life."

I did just as I was told. Not only did I close the door behind me, I also never spoke a word of what I saw to anyone in fear that my sister would follow through with her threat. I remember hearing the lock on the door click after I closed it.

That wasn't the first time that she forgot to lock the door to the bathroom when she was doing nothing but harm to her body. Because I remember a few weeks after walking in on her cutting herself.

Demi barely ate any of her dinner that Mom made that night complaining that she wasn't feeling good. She had left the dinner table in the middle of dinner, saying that she was going to go up to our shared room and close her eyes. It wasn't the first time that she had barely touched the food on her plate and normally would just say that she was tired or was full. After I finished my dinner, I excused myself because I still had some homework to finish for the next day.

I walked into our room and realized that Demi wasn't laying in her bed. Walking past the bathroom, I could hear the unmistakable sound of someone throwing up. I knew that it was Demi. Then I heard her start to cry.

Instead of knocking, I just checked the doorknob and found that it was unlocked. I opened the door and walked in to see Demi crying, kneeled over the toilet with her fingers down her throat. She would gag but keep pushing her hand further until finally she threw something up no matter how small.

"What are you doing Demi," I asked.

She looked up at me, and I saw the anger in her eyes.

"Damn it, Daniella. Mind your own fucking business and get out of here," Demi snapped.

I couldn't move from where I stood. When Demi realized that I was still standing there. She got up and angrily pushed me out of the bathroom and slammed the door in my face. Locking the door. Walking back to our room, I shook my head. I rushed through my homework, suddenly not caring about it, or the grade my work earned me. Demi walked into the bedroom not long after I finished my homework and glared at me. Laying on my bed, I pulled the blanket over my face and cried myself to sleep that night.

I shuttered at the memories as they flashed through my mind. I knew deep down that I should have ignored her threats and told someone what I had seen. But I didn't and I was blaming myself for the state that my sister was currently in, because if I had spoken up, my parents would have gotten her help and we wouldn't be here today.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, mom pulled up next to my school. I got out of the car, ready to endure my own personal hell. I put my earbuds in and then slipped the hood to my hoodie over my head and walked into the building. Walking past everyone in the halls, I walked straight to my first class of the day and sat all the way in the back.

In the middle of the lecture, I zoned out and began to doodle on my notes. I was disturbed by the ringing of the bell. Only 7 more periods left until my freedom.