WHY DON'T WE

Confusion

"Yes, Corbyn, I am marrying him. You know why? Because he's the love of my life and I want to spend the rest of my life by his side. And nothing you say, will ever change that. So stop getting angry at everyone because you aren't getting what you want. You will always, always be my best friend, Corb. Just not your girlfriend. And if you can't accept that, then I'll be heartbroken..." Don't cry, don't cry. DO NOT CRY. And a tear rolls right down my face. And once the waterworks break, they don't stop. And then I start to cry.
"If somebody doesn't let me out of this bathroom, I'm gonna jump out the window." Jonah says as if he's about to loose his all-loving sanity. I let him out of the bathroom. "Everyone of you get out. This is our room. And this is our life. Corbyn if you have a problem with our decisions, then you either need to figure out a way to live with them or live without us. Guys, thank you for coming and yes! We are engaged." He rolled his eyes. "No but seriously. I do love you guys. And all this jealousy or whatever- we will get though it.... oh and by the way! Emily is staying with us for the duration of the tour."
WHAT?!
"I am?" I ask confused.
"You are." He says back and puts his hand on my waist to pull me beside him.
"Wait. I need to talk to you about this."
•••
Jonah and I are both sitting on our bed in complete silence. I don't know if I'm ready for this. For marriage. Three months on a tour on a cramped bus- I don't want to stress the boys out or overstay. I don't want to get on anyone's nerves. I'm so confused. I need time.
"I don't think I can do this." I say blunt.
"Marry me or stay on the bus?" He asks. Yep, he's just as confused as me. Great.
"I love you, J. But this is so much."
"Tell me everything that is on your mind."
"Well, for starters, you will never understand the bond that me and Corb have. You just won't. We are like brother and sister, best friends, and obviously the romance he has for me. I love him. I can't not love him. But this is tearing him apart. Literally. And second, I love you. More than anyone, I love you. We are both so young, yet I love you so much. I'm 19 and you're 20. We are barely adults, and you are asking me to make a commitment for a life time. And trust me, I want to marry you. And now you're telling me you want me to stay. And trust me, I'd love that too. But I need a break. I need a break with you. I know this tour is important and I'd never try to belittle it, but I need you. I need you home, with me. Just a few days, with just the two of us. Number three, well... it's simple. I'm the only girl out of the six of us- which I love, but I also don't want to overstep my boundaries, and I don't know where the boundaries end. I'm confused right now. And I've only been here- what... two, three days? And I've caused so much drama and havoc." I end my rant and take a huge breath. As soon as I finally have steady breath again he crawls on top of me and starts kissing me. And then leans back into the position we were in. "I understand completely, Em. And I agree. We do need time away and to ourselves. And with the whole Corbyn thing- I have no clue what to do. We've never argued like this. And it's all because of you. You have made our friendship weaken. And I tell you that because I'm not gonna lie to you and I know you can take it. But that doesn't mean the both of us love you any less. Because our friendship has died down, yours and his and yours and mine have become stronger. You know the saying, "when someone leaves, someone better will come along"? Well, it's like that kind of. One friendship might of died, but two were made stronger. I'd give up all of this for you, Emily. I'd give up everything.

I know this is kind of crappy. The next part will be better.