Sixteen

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Song: There Is Something on Your Mind- Big Jay McNeely

Alcohol poisoning. I had led Landon to nearly drink himself to death.

The whole ambulance ride, I kept a death grip on Landon's ice cold lifeless hand, hoping every second he would wake up and hold mine back, but he never did. The paramedics worked on him the entire time, and when we arrived at the hospital, they forced me to let go of his hand and took him into an emergency operation room. I sat in the waiting room for hours on end, never taking my eyes off the door they had pushed him through.

The only thing I could feel while I waited was guilt. Why had I ever agreed to his stupid deal? Landon had never needed to be bad. He was perfect and good-- his good was what made him so likable. Even to me, who for several years had only fit into the crowd that fed my problems, that distracted me from my life problems when what I had really needed was to talk to someone and work through all of it. Landon had opened my eyes and cared for me even when I was horrible to him, and I just pushed him away and let Aleck control who I was while pushing a wedge between Landon and I. I had understood why Aleck was upset, and I would have never cheated on him, but the wedge he created between Landon and I was not a wedge to prevent me from cheating, but between our friendship. Why, I didn't know at the time. I thought it had hurt him to see Landon be there for me in ways he had never been able to.

As I recalled all the time Landon and I had spent together, how he took me in when I had no where to go, how he accepted me as I was, even though it only made his life worse and caused him problems, the realization hit me all of a sudden. Nobody had loved me like Landon did. Not even Aleck had been in love with me like Landon was. His love for me was pure and innocent, something that made me want to give up all the bad I had done and turn my life around.

And somewhere along the way, I realized I had fallen in love with him too.

Just when the sun started to peek from behind the horizon, the doors of the operation room swung open, and an exhausted doctor walked out, releasing a sigh as he teared off his surgical cap. "Who's here for Landon Parker?"

I stood and walked to the doctor. He glanced around me, as if expecting others to follow. "Are you his sister?"

"No, I'm his... his girlfriend."

"Well, have you called his parents?"

"Yes, his mom said she would be here as soon as she could," No, because I already knew Landon's parents would kill him before the alcohol could have. I glanced behind the doctor to see if I could see through the doors, but they were closed again. "Is he okay?"

The doctor released another sigh. "He'll be okay. He was a good bit over the toxication level for alcohol, but we were able to pump his stomach and now he's resting. We will put him in a room to recover and once he wakes up and we check his vitals, he should be okay to go home."

"Thank you. When can I see him?"

"It might take a while to get him into a room. Come back in an hour and he should be settled by then."

I nodded, shooting the doctor a small smile, and he returned it before walking back through the doors. I stood there for a moment, pondering what I should do, and then I remembered what I had thought about the whole night, and I knew if I didn't address the sinking feeling in my heart, I would never be able to start moving on and changing my life.

So, I headed to Aleck's.

***

"Did you realize your mistake from last night?" Aleck hissed as he opened the door, and I bit my lip to keep from punching him in the face. But I had to remember what my goal was, and no matter how badly he needed it sometimes, I needed to be honest with him because at some point, he had been the person I loved. I didn't want to end on bad terms, but it was starting to seem like there was no way to avoid it.

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