Feelings - A Lesbian Story

Chapter One

The light shined in through the blinds in my window, how I loathed the light interrupting my wondrous oblivion that was sleep, rolling over I looked at the clock. Of course, it was just before seven, ugh, why is it that you always wake up just before your alarm when you really want those last three minutes before you have to get up and do the things you are not looking forward to doing. Getting up I went about my morning routine, it was the first day of my junior year, bah-humbug, is all I have to say.

It's the same every year; the same people since kindergarten, once in a while someone may move away or move into town, but for the most part, it didn't change. I used to enjoy going to school, but since freshman year it has become the bane of my existence; things used to be great, I had friends, I was relatively popular, everything ran smoothly until she happened. Until I met her I had no idea that I was gay, I had just figured that I didn't really like any of the guys at our school, as I said I had known nearly all of them since kindergarten. But her, she was new to everyone; she fell into our group of friends easily.

We became close so quickly, spending almost every free minute we had together; I didn't even realize what was happening, I was falling for her. And that is where things started to go wrong, I told her about my feelings, she was cool about it, I mean she was from a big city and was used to people being gay, lesbian, bi, transgender and everything else that people identified as. She encouraged me to come out to my family, as you can imagine that went over super great, it took time but they adjusted, though my mom still asks me about some of the guys at school celebrities. She even got me to come out to my friends and therein lays the problem; I had never experienced hate and disgust on that level until then. You would think that people that had been your friends for that long would have been better about accepting and supporting you, but I guess in the end friendship doesn't really count for much. After that I was alone, my world turned upside down and I was abandoned, even she left me, peer pressure and all that, apparently I had been wrong about our feelings for each other, it was just a one-sided crush.

The rest of freshman year was hard but when it was over I spent the summer learning more about who I was, my parents sent me to a camp, not one of those bad ones where they try to change you, this one was a supportive one, I learned a lot that helped me work through things, met other kids like me, I felt safe to be me. I had wished that I didn't have to leave, but I left having new friends that understood me and where I was coming from, I still talk to them and see what they are up to, thank you social media. Sophomore year was hard but once they realized that they no longer had any say on how they affected my life they gave up and left me alone for the most part, there was the odd comment here and there but I let them roll off my back, I didn't let them get to me because their opinions no longer mattered to me anymore. I planned for this year to be just like last year, them leaving me alone and me ignoring their entire existence.

* * *

Finally dressed I headed downstairs to find a huge breakfast laid out for me and my little brother Leo, my mother had been busy this morning, dad was already gone to work. "Morning sweetheart, ready for today?" she asked, I loved her but she tried so hard to little Suzie homemaker, most of the time she pulled it off but my lifestyle didn't quite fit the mold she wanted us to be in. "It's just another day of my existence mom, nothing special about it." I winked at Leo as I grabbed a bagel and headed for the door, "Wait! I made all of this and that is all you're gonna have?" she looked at me with one of those withering mom stares that used to have me falling in line, but now I enjoyed when I got a rise out of her, I just raised an eyebrow and shrugged in return. She let out an exasperated sigh, "Will you take Leo to school, please? I have a meeting at the fir, this morning." Now it was my turn for an exasperated sigh and a roll of my eyes, "Alright, come on Skidd, let's roll!" Leo shined me the biggest smile and hopped up out of his chair to follow me out the door, he and I had talked a lot when everything went down, the kid had my back and I loved him for it, he has become one of my best friends.