Is Anyone Out There?

Chapter 5

A/N: Just a warning, this chappie gets a little intense with abuse and cutting... So if you don'tleant to read that type of stuff, I suggest skipping to the courtyard before school! :) Hope you guys enjoy! Oh yeah... Almos forgot! That's Katherine over there---> just no nose ring and no plugs ^.^

I sigh and push gently on the front door, hoping that it will be unlocked. My keys are in my bag back at the coffee shop and I can't afford my parents asking, no probably demanding, why I don't have my keys. Fortunately, it's door opens silently and I am able to slip inside unnoticed.

I slide past the kitchen and living room quietly and rush upstairs to my room, hopping over the squeaky step. I open and close the door, making it into the closet place I have in my "home" to a safe haven.

I collapse onto my mattress and go to pull my iPod out of my back pocket, but it's not there. It's in my bag. I frown deeply. My iPod is the only thing that can drown out the world. The only thing other than cutting that really ever helps to ease the pain. I shoot up and curse to myself. My razor is in my bag. I really hope Jame doesn't go snooping. He will try to help. And I know his help won't work at all.

"Katherine Marie get your ass down here!" I hear my mother shriek from downstairs. Uh oh. This will no be good. Not one little bit. I'm afraid of what she will do to me. She hasn't used my full name in ages. I know this will be horrible.

I slowly stand up and open my bedroom door. I go downstairs relatively quickly because my mother is very impatient. She is standing at the bottom of the stairs, a phone in one hand. "I just got a call from your school," she growls. Shit! I forgot all about the phone calls. "Mind telling me where you were today? Probably fucking some boy like the slut you are,"

I feel a tear run down my cheek. Each word she says is like a knife cutting parts of my heart out. I know I will get in deeper trouble for this, but I shrug. I can't let her know about the coffee shop, I just can't. "I knew it! My daughter is a whore!" my mom screams. I see her nostrils flare and I know I'm going to get it. She marches up to me so that our noses are almost touching. "You are not my daughter. You are a whore and a slut and probably a prostitute too," she raises her hand and slaps me across the face.

I grab my cheek and whimper in pain. "Don't you dare raise your hands to me!" she screams and rips my hands away from my face, slapping the other cheek. She throws me down to the ground and kicks me in the stomach before turning around and walking to the living room. Tears are flowing steadily down my face and every thing hurts so damn much. "Just wait until your father gets back from his business trip. Oh boy are you going to get it," she smiles wickedly before going into the room.

I have to stand up. I can't just lay here. It won't do anything for the pain. I grip the pole of a stand up lamp and carefully pull myself up. I have to ease the pain, I have to. I shuffle over to the kitchen and pick a sharp knife. I clutch it to myself and carry it to my room where I sit on the floor and cut lines into my arm. I cry out with each one l, but I can't stop. It feels too good.

I feel blood coursing down my arm and that's when I realise just how many cuts I've done and, and how deep they are. I've cut all the way up to my elbow on the inside of my arm. I throw the knife to the other side of the room and rock in a ball, sobbing, until I go to sleep.

I don't care anymore. I don't care about anything.

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I wake up early the next day and I'm glad I do. I'm covered in my own blood from last night. I grab skinny, a navy blue cable knit sweater my aunt gave me last Christmas, and my underclothes and go to the bathroom. I look in the mirror and frown. My face is black and blue. There is no way this will go unnoticed at school. I slip into the shower and watch the rust colored blood run for my skin and down the drain. I wrap a towel around myself and look in the mirror again.

I look over and one of my mom's make up bags is sitting on the self. She must have something in there that will hide her work. I put on foundation and powder that I find, and for the most part it covers the bruise without looking unnatural. I see that she has more than enough eye liner and I've always kinda wanted to try it out. I get dressed and stick the eyeliner in my pocket along with the other stuff. I might have to put more on during the day to keep the bruise covered.

I go back to my room and slip all of my bracelets on. I still have ten minutes before I have to leave, but I want to get to school early (that's a first) so that I can get my things back from Jake. I just hope he won't notice the bruise. I get my hoodie and put it on, raising the hood. Then I arrange my hair so it covers the bruise on my face. I walk to school with my hands in my pockets and my head down.

When I get there, the parking lot is mostly empty and I can pick out Jake's car easily. I half run, half walk to the courtyard. I don't know why I'm running to meet Jake, but I do. Before I round the corner, I slow down a little so it doesn't look like I was rushing to get here.

Jake is sitting on a bench facing away from me. I walk up behind him and tap his shoulder. He jumps and turns around, taking out earbuds. "Hey Kitty Kat," he says with a gentle smile,"

"Hey," I see my bag on the ground next to his foot. I walk around the bench and sit next to him.

"What's wrong?" he asks me. I don't look at him, but I tell him that nothing is wrong. I can tell he doesn't believe me, but he doesn't push it. I feel really bad, but I'm not in the mood to talk right now. And I don't trust myself with Jake. It's so easy to talk to him and things aren't going well so I'm afraid that everything will slip out of my mouth. "Here's your bag," he says afte a couple of silent seconds.

"Thank you for picking it up for me," I tell him, playing with the zipper so I don't look at him. And then there is more silence.

Jake shifts uncomfortably and clears his throat. Why are you wearing that jacket? It's like 75 degrees," I shrug and don't say anything. But I want to say something. I want to talk to Jake, but I can't,"

I see people starting to walk in the halls and I stand up. "I better get going," you don't want to be seen with me... I add the last part in my head.

Jake just nods and I begin to walk away. "Wait," he grabs my wrist to stop me before I can get away. I almost scream out in pain because that's the arm I cut last night. I turbot look at him and try to ignore the throbbing in my arm. "Do you want to uh do something this weekend?"

Butterflies start flying around crazily in my stomach and I'm almost speechless. Is jake asking me out on a date? Pinch me, I must be dreaming. I nod because I can't say anything. Jake smiles wide. "Great, I'll pick you up where I dropped you off yesterday at 3 tomorrow," he walks out of the courtyard and leaves me standing there, not even believing what just happened.

A/N: Eep! I love the ending to this chappie! :) Comment with what you thought below! :)