smut book

benefits

"come over!" shawn yelled at me through the phone. "my family is gone for the weekend at one of aliyah's hockey games and i'm lonely."

i could see his pouting face in my mind.

"fine. but it's your fault if i fail this test because i didn't get enough time to study this weekend." i say.

"i think i can deal with that fault." he giggled.

"be there in 10." i said before hanging up the phone and grabbing my joggers and car keys. i made my way past my kitchen, quickly turning back and grabbing the unopened box of pop tarts my sister was saving. i'll buy her a new box on my way home. i slipped my shoes on and made my way out into the cool fall air. it was surprisingly warm for the time of year, we usually have a few feet of snow by now.

i started my car and made my way to shawn's house.

we've been friends ever since elementary school. partners in crime. buzz and woody. a true match made in heaven. most people that don't know us think we're dating, and those that do know us think we're siblings, separated at birth. which isn't too far off considering we share the same birthday. it's been hard to get a boyfriend when shawn's always around me, and i'm sure it's the same for shawn with girls, but there isn't anyone else that i'd rather always have around me.

i pulled into shawn's driveway, he was already standing at his door in his plaid pyjamas bottoms and tight black shirt that i always tell him makes him look crazy hot.

"nice shirt!" i yelled as i got out of my car.

"wore it just for you." he yelled back throwing me a wink as i approached him. he pulled me in for a hug. his familiar smell and touch instantly making me happy. "come on, i've got some new music to show you."

***

"shawn..." i say in awe, "this is incredible." i say as he plays his new songs for me.

"really? that aren't that great..." he says, scratching the back of his neck.

"yes really! you're getting so good. these are radio worthy!"

his soft brown eyes lit up, "you really think so?"

"i know so." i said as i placed my hand on his forearm.

he smiled before grabbing his laptop off of my lap and stopping the song.

"so who's the girl?" i say smirking.

"what?" he asked still clicking away on his keyboard.

"the girl. all your songs are about love. so you must be in love, or close to it, right?" i asked.

his eyebrows furrowed. "there really is no girl...i guess i just write about love because i crave it. i've never experienced that kind of love, like of course i love my family and my cat..and you with literally all my heart." he smiled, "but i've never been head-over-heels, heart-wrenching, i can't focus on anything else kind of love...yanno?" he asked, hands flying around as he spoke. i've always loved that about him. how invested he is in everything he does. how passionate he is. how carefully he chooses every word he says.

"i know." i said before rolling over on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

shawn followed suit. "how am i supposed to write about love if i've never truly experienced it? isn't that just writing lies? hell, how am i supposed to write about hookups if i've never even had sex?"

i sighed, agreeing in my own way. i was about to go into college and i hadn't even really had a first real kiss. there was Jamie Dumphry but i try to forget that.