smut book

let's talk

hi, guys :) i'm sorry i haven't updated, but i'm sure you can understand why considering everything that has been going on in the world. i wanted to write to you guys, to those who may be feeling lonely in this isolation, to those who are struggling to come to terms with everything going on, to those who simply come to read to escape reality for just a few minutes. i'm writing to everyone, we are all going through this together and i promise, you are not alone. 

no one was prepared for times like these, and as much as i want to force myself to sit down and think about it, i find it difficult. everyday is different. some i am filled with sadness and grief as i scroll through the news non-stop, some are filled with anger and and hatred as more and more people refuse to self isolate. but today i am completely and utterly consumed by nostalgia. nostalgia for times when i didn't have to think about thinking.

i've been thinking about the times i danced in the kitchen with my family and friends, baking cookies on a lazy sunday afternoon. 

i'm thinking about all the long drives my best friend and i have taken, singing our favourite songs along with the radio as we let the breeze toss our hair about. 

i'm thinking about empty coffee mugs shared between friends and the lingering conversations had over them.

i'm thinking about the countless campfires i've had and the eyes of the people who sat around them. 

i'm thinking about long walks in the forest and the thoughts that ran trough my head while i was there. 

i'm thinking of the times i stayed in the bay in my home town a little too long just because i loved the peace i felt while floating, watching the clouds pass above me.

i'm thinking about the late night conversations i've had sitting on the roof with my brother, or the times my mom and i stayed up until 3am giggling while sitting at the kitchen counter. 

i'm thinking of the heart-to-hearts i've had with my friends that progressed our friendships to what they are now. 

i'm thinking of the butterflies that would errupt in my stomach when i passed a high school crush in the hallway and the quick conversations we shared at our lockers. 

i'm thinking about all the concerts i've gone to, screaming the lyrics until my voice was gone and absorbing the energy from everyone in the crowd. 

i've thinking of the times i play my instruments and allow myself to fully get lost in each and every note i play. 

i'm thinking of being on stage, performing the very last scene of the play at the last show,  feeling relief, sadness, accomplishment, and love all at once as the lights beam down on us. 

i'm thinking of all the people i love and have loved over the years and the sound of their laughs. 

i'm thinking about myself, and what it means to be me during this time. 

i'm not ready to fully process everything we are going through, and that's okay. for now i am thinking about all the little things that add up to be much bigger. 

maybe this will give us all a chance to reflect, to love, to appreciate, to learn...

for now i urge you to think and reflect on the things that you love and the things that make you nostalgic. 

my dm's are always open if you need someone to talk to, it's important to remember the power of kindness and love, especially in times like these.

please stay safe, stay home, and stay healthy. it's important that you remember that you are not alone in times like these. 

-liv <3