smut book

the rock

i stood there...hands shaking...mind racing.

i had arrived at our usual spot 30 minutes earlier than i had asked shawn to meet me.

i rehearsed what i was going to say while getting ready, on the drive over, and now i stand here pacing back and forth repeating the same sentence over and over again.

you see, shawn and i have known each other for 8 years. we met when we were 12 years old. our friendship was rocky at first, filled with awkward hangouts and arguments. it took me a few years to really crack his shell and get to know who the real shawn was. ever since then we've been inseparable. only now...things are different.

it went from being best friends to..being more.

he started to be the only thing i could think about. he is the first thing i think about in the morning and the last thing i think about before i go to bed. when i think about him during the day i get flustered, i can't remember the last time we hung out and i didn't stress about looking nice and making sure he had a good time.

i've fallen in love with him.

and he doesn't know.

so here i am, standing in front of our rock, the rock we go to when an important conversation needs to be had, pacing back and forth repeating the words "i'm in love with you."

"sam!" i heard the familiar voice yell.

i turned, eyes as wide as a deer in headlights.

he jogged up to me engulfing me into a hug.

i wrapped my arms around him and held him as tight as he held me. "shawn." i said into his chest with a smile on my face. the sweet smell of his cologne filled my nose.

we separated, "new cologne?" i asked.

he blushed, "aha..yeah. do you like it?"

"i love it." i said before growing nervous again.

shawn coughed lightly. "so what's this important conversation we're about to have? it's been months since we've been here."

yeah, months because i've been falling madly in love with you and didn't know how to tell you. i thought to myself.

i cleared my throat. "well..i just have, something, not really that important and doesn't need to be taken very seriously to tell you."

shawn laughed, "sam, we're at the rock. it's important."

"ahaha..yeah..well it's important to me but that doesn't mean it needs to be important to you." i say while fidgeting with the ties of my wrap dress.

shawn came close to me and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, "anything that's important to you is important to me."

shawn sat on the rock and i took a deep breath.

"okay so, you know how we've been friends for eight years now?"

he nodded.

"and when we first became friends it was like super bad and we didn't think we'd ever actually stay friends?"

he laughed, "yes, i remember."

"but instead of giving up i stuck with you? i spent three full years breaking that extremely tough shell of yours down u til i got to know the real you."

his eyebrows furrowed and he nodded.

"okay.." i sighed, "and you know how at the beginning of this year you asked me why i haven't dated anyone in a while and i have you some bullshit answer."