Jesse never understood why emotions were so damn complicated. In the months following the incident he hated Lukas...but still loved him. Where was the logic in that? Then again the logic which lead to the unpleasantness was also flawed. So really emotions and people were complicated; not just emotions.
Jesse glowered at his desk whilst the teacher droned on, Petra sitting by him instead of Lukas. That's how things had been in the three months since the bitter breakup from which Jesse refused to ever get along with the blonde again.
Lukas sat at the back of the classroom, gaze determinedly cast down. His shoulders were slumped and he looked entirely miserable. 'Good' Jesse's thoughts hissed. 'He deserves it'
The bitter thoughts, in Jesse's opinion, were entirely valid. Three months ago he'd turned a corner at school and had seen Lukas' against a locker, he and Aiden kissing. He'd been so infuriated and betrayed he'd refused to hear Lukas out: despite the blonde's many efforts. Two weeks ago Jesse had snapped, telling Lukas he hated him and to get out his life. Since then Lukas hadn't spoke a word to Jesse and that suited him just fine.
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Lukas no longer felt happiness or hope. Only a deep sadness. He loved Jesse and hated Aiden for ruining everything. And by 'everything' it wasn't just the relationship. Lukas had lost any friends he had. Any respect people felt towards him was gone. In fact he'd became hugely hated for 'cheating' on Jesse and the whispered comments and harsh words were tearing him apart.
He sat alone in the library, just looking at the book in front of him rather than reading it; trying to muster any energy to care about something. Because, at that moment, he no longer cared about his life. No one did...which was why it was quickly becoming more impossible to live it. Escpecially, as Jesse and others had shown, no one wanted him in their lives.
Aiden walked over and sat by him. "Go. Away." Lukas muttered, coldly, glaring at him. "No." Aiden stated. "Lukas, just accept my apology already. Please?" "No. Why should I?" Lukas hissed, narrowing his eyes. "Because of you everyone hates me. If you were so sorry you would've stood up for me in the past three months." "Lukas...It could be worse." Aiden said, trying to cheer Lukas up. "No it couldn't." Lukas murmured."At least I won't be around for it much longer." "You're leaving the school?!" Aiden exclaimed, shocked it had gotten that far. 'Close enough' Lukas thought before nodding and walking off.
Aiden sighed before storming off to confront Jesse.
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Aiden stormed over to the other brunette, fury burning through him. "We need to talk." Aiden stated. "Not happening." Jesse retorted, hatred engraved into his voice. "It's about Lukas." Aiden added, hoping that might get Jesse's attention. "So?" Jesse muttered. Aiden glared before swinging his fist into Jesse's stomach. "At least like you care a bit." he hissed, coldly. "Why do you even hate him so much?" "You know why." Jesse said. "You never heard him out, did you?"Aiden questioned in a disbelieving tone. Jesse shook his head and Aiden sighed.
"Lukas never kissed me, Jesse. I asked him out, he said no because he was with you. I kissed him...and he wasn't at all happy with me. Now, because you wouldn't hear him out, everyone hates him." Aiden explained. Jesse felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. He'd messed up. Really badly. He remembered all the times he'd put a hurt expression on Lukas' face and guilt flowed through him. "I'll talk to him first thing tomorrow."Jesse stated. "You won't be able to." Aiden replied, quietly. "He's leaving the school."
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Jesse, instead, went to Lukas' house and knocked on the door. Silence. "Lukas, open the door...Please?" he called, getting only silence. He sighed before using the key under the doormat which he used to do when they were dating. Once in the house he called Lukas' name again. Nothing.
He headed to Lukas room and opened the door, nearly collapsing at what he saw.
Lukas was leant against a wall, posture slumped, eyes dull and sad, skin whiter than pure snow. He looked exhausted but that wasn't what got his attention. It was the deep vertical cuts in the pale arms, gushing blood and staining the ground. Jesse's eyes fell on the knife in Lukas' hand and ran to his side, pulling it away. The pain had finally beat Lukas...
"J-Jesse? What are you...doing... here?"Lukas asked, his voice unbelievably weak. "I came to say sorry." Jesse whispered, knowing apologies would now do no good. "Lukas...what have you done?" "Y-you...a favour. Getting out your life." Lukas whispered, wincing as Jesse tried to put pressure on the wounds. Lukas' words stung, forcing Jesse to remember the harsh words he'd said two weeks ago. His eyes widened as Lukas' fluttered shut, breathing rapidly slowing. "Lukas?! Wake up!! Please..." he pleaded, tears rolling down his cheeks. Lukas' breathing stopped.
"Lukas! No...please Lukas wake up! Please! I'm sorry Lukas...please. I'm sorry...wake up..." Jesse pleaded, desperation engraved in him.
'Lukas...'
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And a drawing which, as much as I wish I could draw this well, isn't by me. It's by Bogi92 and you should go check out her other stories and art because they're epic :)
