After 6 hours of non-stop meetings, I was exhausted. I barely got sleep preparing my presentations the night before and I was feeling a little lightheaded. Plus I hadn't eaten the whole day so yeah...lightheaded times two. I stumbled into the first establishment that I came across which happened to be a coffee shop. It was jam-packed but I was past caring at that point. All I wanted was to get some food ASAP.
I ordered iced coffee, a sandwich, some pasta, another sandwich, and a cookie.
I plopped onto the first vacant seat that I saw which happened to be a sharing table for at least 10 people. I sat across someone with their nose buried in a large book. I multi-tasked as I ate, checking email on my phone with one hand and shoveling food into my mouth with the other. I had been doing this for several minutes when someone tapped my arm. I looked up and met the glare of the most beautiful pair of eyes that I had ever seen.
"Yes?" I asked her dreamily as I took a bite of my cookie.
"Kinakain mo yung cookie ko," she said looking pointedly at what I was holding.
I choked. She panicked. She handed me a glass of water as I coughed violently, my eyes watering. After I managed to swallow the cookie and when I could finally breathe again, I looked at her. She blinked at me. And we started laughing and laughing and laughing. When we finally calmed down, I offered her my untouched cookie.
"I'm sorry, miss. I didn't mean to eat your cookie."
"I can't be annoyed at you anymore, nakarma ka na eh."
And that set us off. It wasn't even that funny but we started laughing like crazy again. After the giggling subsided, I offered her my hand.
"I'm RJ."
"Maine," she said as she shook my hand.
"Boss? Boss? Sir, andito na tayo sa drop-off niyo."
I was brought back to the present by the Grab driver's voice. I alighted the vehicle and walked towards my office building, glancing towards the coffee shop where Maine and I met. What if I didn't walk in there that day? Would she and I have met somewhere else? If we met somewhere else, would we have clicked like we did that day? If we met at another time, would things have worked out between us? I have so many questions.
But in the midst of all the what ifs, despite the soul-crushing pain of losing her, there is one thing that I'm sure of: I would gladly do it all over again. Because hers was the kind of love that she didn't give away to just anybody. Her love is like the sun on a cold and cloudy day: elusive, almost imperceptible. But when it shines on you it touches all of you with its warmth, its quiet but powerful intensity. When she loves you, it changes you. It certainly changed me. I feel like I became a better person because of her presence in my life, however brief it was.
I felt my chest tighten again because I miss her. I miss her so much it almost suffocates me. My longing for her never really went away. I've just gotten really good at suppressing it. But seeing her today brought it all back to the surface. I had to breathe deeply for several seconds to get my bearings back.
Just seeing her for a couple of hours did this to me. What will happen to me after tonight?
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