Symphony Of A Serial Killer

Chapter 4: Reality Check

I saw his death and there was no struggle, it all played out before me while having an out-of-body experience. First seeing into Laura’s soul, now this… and to think, it all began with a careless glance in the mirror this morning. I’ve heard of these so-called spirit walks but never thought I’d have one myself.

At least the impression was that they served some greater purpose of self-growth. I could very well be missing the point, but I’m sure I learned nothing from that experience other than my ability to effortlessly take a life with no remorse.

What did those glistening eyes do to me? Was this a dream or foresight? I’m not clear on how experiences like these work, until moments ago I didn’t even believe them to be real. This couldn’t have been an out-of-body… this was more. It was real… I could feel my hands wrapped around his neck, the pounding in my heart when I heard the bone break, yet there he stands. No it’s not over; escaping my personal hell won’t be that easy, for my story has just begun.

“If you think you should walk away then do it. It’s a lot better than standing there like a deer caught in the headlights.” He boasted.

I should walk away, were these the words I muttered that were drowned out by the throbbing of my shoulder and the pounding of my heart?

I tried shaking off my own confusion while Laura picked herself up from off the ground. As she pulled on her shirt and brushed it off, I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes for a moment. I can’t explain what just happened, but whatever it was drained me, that’s the best way I can describe it. I just feel so weak right now, not sleepy, but tired.

Now ready to test my foresight theory, I move forward hearing the sound of crisp grass beneath my feet with each step. Suddenly I’m forced to stop, my heart pounds heavily, throat dries, all familiar symptoms from the last time she appeared.

No longer a face in the mirror, I can’t blame this on the steam or being groggy from having just woken up. She’s back, there’s no mistaking it, here in the flesh so to speak. It’s impossible not to look into her eyes, why is she here... what does she want?

I want to confront him, but she now stands between us with an expression of warning. I watch as she turns her attention to James, then slowly back to me. Everything in me wants to speak, but before I can she gently shakes her head in disagreement. No? Is she telling me not to speak or not to go after him?

“James, what’s he doin?” Laura nervously asks.

Can they not see her? I really must have lost it. I quickly rub my eyes in hopes of wiping away the insanity, but she’s still there and apparently only I can see her. Instinct tells me to point right at her and seem like a crazy person by shouting that they should be able to see the invisible woman standing between us. Thankfully common sense kicks in and I opt out of doing anything ludicrous, or giving James the ammo he needs to have me put in a mental institute. I’m sure he’d love that, the chance to legally be rid of me.

Since my brain seems to be processing thoughts logically… I can only conclude that I’m not losing my mind after all…. But it still doesn’t explain or justify why I’m the only one seeing this.

After glancing over to Laura I set my focus to James. He looked just as confused as she was.

“Boy, come at me or I’m coming to you.” He shouts while stepping down from the porch.

Just then the apparition solidified, blocking my view of him as I could no longer see through her. I was sure that now all would be made clear, I wouldn’t seem crazy.

“There, can’t you see?” I nervously ask, pointing straight ahead while she continues to approach me.

“What’s he talking about?” Laura asked while taking her place next to him.

I understood now, even though she took on a solid form, I was still the only person that could see her. I frantically looked back and forth between Laura and James with anxiety rapidly building. James had made his way back onto the porch and Laura gripped his arm in fear.

I… am… not crazy, there’s a woman standing right fucking there! At least this is what I keep telling myself, the looks on their faces infuriate me, there is fear, pity, and even… borderline amusement all bundled into one. No longer can I contain or even care about seeming normal, clearly I’m not. This is the morning from hell and I cannot take it anymore.

“I’m not crazy, open your fucking eyes! She’s standing right there, don’t you see her!?”

Their responses were heard loud and clear as they disappear back into the house and stare at me through the screen door. As she continues to come closer and closer, the hate sets in. She’s made a fool of me.

“What do you want from me, why are you here? Why am I the only one who can see you!?”

The questions fire from my mouth, but there is no response. Is she here to protect me? Stop me from throwing my life away and going to jail? So dry, so very dry are my mouth and throat. Just like before, but I refuse to be silenced. I can feel the pain as I swallow and try to remoisten the only weapon I have, I must speak to defend myself.

“Why now, you want to protect me now? I don’t need miracles or guardian angels, I just need to be left the fuck alone!”

I don’t feel, that’s how I survive, so what’s all of this inside of me. With watery eyes and nerves shot, I tremble in the cool morning air. I see Laura with phone in hand, she wants to do the sensible thing and try to get help for the kid who’s just snapped. In classic form of course, I watch as James peels the phone from her hand.

She places one hand upon my chest and looks up at me. Our eyes meet and as they did, I knew why she was here. She came to save me. My out-of-body experience displayed the events to come and she was here to warn against them, to tell me to walk away.

It would be that swift and easy to end his life but on the other hand, just as swift and easy to throw away mine. She was here to prevent that, to make sure that I went on but for what purpose? I accepted at this point she’s my guardian angel. At least telling myself that made it easier to digest everything and protect my own sanity, should I ever see her again.

Once she knew that I understood, she smiled and I forcefully offered one back. I can only imagine how this all looks to bystanders. She glared back at James once more; then turned back to me with one of the most disgusted looks on her face. That’s beyond funny to me, yet not surprising, even angels find him repulsive.

She gently grabbed my shoulders and turned me away from him, then took my hand. I hesitantly cut my eyes over to her as she began to walk, motioning for me to follow. After a few paces, I built up the courage to steal one more glace, but she was gone.

“You got imaginary friends now boy!?” he shouted, clearly referring to the odd sight of me walking away holding a hand that to them was never there.

Yes, that big part of me wanted to confront him. However given recent events, I decided it’d be best to continue making my way to school.