Misconstrued Emotions ((ON HOLD))

Chapter Six - Then

We talked every single day. No matter what. Whenever I would wake up, I would have a text that was something along the lines of

Good morning beautiful!<3 xxxx

And he would text me as long as he could without getting into trouble. Because he was still on the show. Whereas, I had gone home.

But it definitely wasn't the end of my singing career.

After the X Factor, Simon signed me to his label, and my real career...it began. And I loved it..so much.

But...Louis still insisted on keeping our relationship a secret. And I couldn't understand it...

I remember the one time I asked him about it...he kind of just...ignored it. That was when he first brought up Eleanor...

I remember everything about that day perfectly. I was chilling in one of his hoodies, that I had "borrowed" during the X factor. We were curled up on the couch in our apartment, watching some horror movie, I wasn't 100% sure what it was. But he kind of looked down at me, and said

"I met somebody."

I was kind of confused. I mean. We were dating. He had asked me to officially be his girlfriend three weeks before. What did he mean he "met someone"?!

"Oh..?" I had said

"Her name's Eleanor." he told me, like it was no big deal.

I remembered sitting up on the couch, my mind reeling.

"Lou...are...are you seriously breaking up with me...?!" I asked, trying not to panic.

He looked at me, kind of nervously.

"I don't want to break up with you. I really really like you Cher. It's just...management wants us to get together. They said it would look good because she's sort of a fan, and it would like..attract more fans....so...I can't exactly say no..I want...It wouldn't be a real relationship babe. Just...something for the world to see. It's for the band. Do you not like that..?"

I bit my lip. I couldn't really say no. I mean, yeah. We were together. But it's not like anybody knew that. And I couldn't be selfish and say NO!, because he could break up with me, and maybe date her for real! And..that....I had only just been able to start calling Louis mine. I didnt want to lose him now....

"No...I think that's a fine idea. For the band." I said. 

He smiled broadly at me.  

"I knew you'd understand. Thank you babe. I gotta go. We have a lunch date. I'll see you tonight, yah?"  

And before I had even responded he was out the door.

****

One date a week turned into almost every day he was with Eleanor. He'd come home at night, and for those little bits of time, things seemed almost normal. But they never were...it was always "Eleanor this." and "Eleanor that." 

"Why dont you wear your hair like El does?"  

"why don't you wear less makeup like El?"  

"Why don't you dress like El?"

He never said it out loud, but all I ever heard him say was "Why can't you be El? Youre not good enough."

******

"Cher? Are you awake?"  

I felt the bed dip as Louis sat down, his hand gently rubbing my exposed back; it was a surprisingly warm night in London, so I was just wearing a loose camisole and a short pair of pajama shorts.

A part of me wanted to ignore him...to just lay there and pretend to be asleep, but...I had missed him terribly...and I...I just wanted him right now.

I turned onto my side, blinking sleepily up at his exquisite features, because I had almost actually been asleep when he came in. His blue eyes were sparkling down at me the way the used to, the love and admiration that I hadn't seen in awhile were there, and it made my insides flutter to see him looking at me that way.

"Hey stranger." I smiled up at him, scooting in closer allowing the warmth of his body to envelop me.  

"I've missed you." he murmured, pulling me into his chest, his hands running lovingly through my hair.  

I felt his voice rumble through his chest, and his heart was thumping steadily in my ear, steady and comfortably. 

"I've missed you too angel." I mumbled sleepily, snuggling further into his side as he stretched out onto the bed.

Our legs were tangled up together, my head on his chest, one of his arms snug around my waist, the other still in my hair, smoothing any tangles out.  

"I'm sorry I've been out so much." he said softly, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of my head.

Of course. He was always sorry. Sorry to be dating the beautiful Eleanor Calder. Sorry to kiss her. To be out in public with her. Sorry he was practically living in her flat. Sorry he ignored my texts. And calls. And hardly spoke to me anymore.  

"I've been so lonely without you." I allowed myself to admit, tracing my fingers lightly along his chest.  

Louis didn't say anything else. Just pressed his lips against my forehead and left them there, allowing me to fall into an easy sleep, completely enveloped in the warmth and aroma of the boy I loved.