dear nobody

11•1•17

to the boy i love

you dont look at me like i look at you
you dont hear my voice in a crowded room like i can hear yours, each pitch and all
you dont notice a single strand of my hair in the back of my head while walking behind me while i can make out the freshly cut hairline down the back of your neck from a hair cut recently
you dont notice me stare at you to get your attention while you surprise another girl and say "whats up" while you flash your million dollar smile decorated with lines on your cheeks to show every happy memory
you dont check up on me like i check up on you
you dont worry about me everyday like i worry about you
you dont see how hard im trying to not love you
you dont see how i try to look at every single thing you do as a reason to try to hate you
but i dont want to hate you...
i want you to prosper in life
i want you to be safe and happy and not messed up
i want you to achieve every goal you've set
and i also want to be able to look at you and not feel like my heart is being ripped out
i love you, but i dont want to anymore

a/n
i have since gotten over the dude, took YEARS but imm happy to say im over it..still care about him though