It all started with "Oops!" {Larry Stylinson}

Chapter 3 - I'm in fact straight

*Louis' point of view*

3: 46 AM
Anxiety. Insomnia. I fucking hate this.

I groan as I get out of bed. When will I ever get over this?

I sit on the edge of my bed and slide a shirt over my head that lay in the corner of my room and put on my running shoes. If you're thinking it's odd to wake up in the middle of the night and going for a jog, you're lucky you don't suffer from insomnia. I've had insomnia for quite a while now. And it just absolutely sucks. Nothing airs on the telly that is worth watching, only advertisements to get abs in two hours or hair growth pills for bald patches. I'd rather take a run and clear my mind.

I wish I could go back to the time my mum would sing me to sleep. She'd sing the most absurd songs, some were English while some were French and some were even Persian. Don't ask me how she knew Persian children's rhymes.

When she ran out of rhymes to sing, she'd sing popular Hollywood songs of Elvis or even The Beatles. But the thing was, no matter if she sang Hot Cross Buns or It's Now or Never, she'd always find a way to put me to sleep. It could be her soothingly beautiful voice or maybe just my young age but she'd always make me sleep.

After she had Charlotte and then Felicity she got a bit busy. But she never ignored me. She'd always find time out of her busy schedule and feed me and talk to me about my day and what happened in school. Then after she had Daisy and Phoebe, things got even more busy for her. She didn't have enough time for me but she'd manage to talk to me when dad would be putting the girls to bed.

Then when mum and dad went through a rough patch, they decided to break their marriage, only a little after Daze and Pheebs turned one, for the better of all of us. It would've been better for me as well if I hadn't found out a couple of secrets that were kept from me for thirteen years.

Secrets. Not the good kind.

I found out that dad wasn't really my dad. Mark married my mum when I was too little to remember. My actual biological father, however, was never interested in my life and broke all ties with my mum within ten days of my birth.

Troy Motherfucking Austin. That bloody bastard of a human being.

I slow down and stop in the middle of the street when I realise that I started sprinting due to the anger boiling inside of me.

Breathe in, breathe out.
in, out;
in, out;
in, out;

I keep doing this for a while to calm my insides.

I need to sit down.

I don't see a bench anywhere around. Obviously, since I've been running in the streets of the locality, surrounded by houses.

It's four in the fucking morning, no one's gonna see me.

With that thought in my mind, I put my back against the brick wall and slide down and rest my bum on the sidewalk.
Hash.

I shut my eyes, taking in the silence of the night when I take heed that, it isn't as quite as it was yesterday, or the day before, or even a month ago. Some dickhead is playing music out loud and I can hear faint sounds of it reaching my ears.