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Racel's Office
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March 18, 2018 Racel's POV
Years swiftly passed after their first meeting and the two of them are now married, which led to this instant. Racel slowly played with the wine glass he was holding, his strong and muscled frame leaning on his office's vast window. It was such a beautiful day, sunny but not so. Just the right amount of sun, and he figured, just the right amount of warm breeze too. Azrael would have loved to go outside with a weather like this. Racel smiled fondly as he thought of his lover. Azrael . . . Yes, today was their 4th year anniversary. He was supposed to go home today and meet Azrael. He was supposed to go home today and celebrate with Azrael. He was supposed to go home today and make love with Azrael. He was supposed to go home. He was supposed to be home. But no, here he was, in his office, acting like he forgot yet another anniversary, acting like he didn't care, acting like Azrael wasn't important.
It was amazing. It was amazing how good he was at hiding his emotions and thoughts. It was amazing how he was so good in acting and pretending that today wasn't an important day, when the truth is, all he could think about was Azrael's smile, Azrael's laugh, Azrael's warmth. It was amazing how good he was. It was amazing.
And it was pathetic.
Because no matter how hard he tried, he could never fully dissociate himself from Azrael. No matter how hard he tried, he could never take away the pain in his heart whenever he thought of Azrael's sadness, of Azrael's pain, of the hurt that he himself had inflicted. It was so painful. And it made Racel mad at himself.
Why? When his very existence was made for the revenge he planned all his life, why can't he fully harden his heart against Azrael's love? Why? Why couldn't he fully hate the son of the woman who took everything away from him? Why couldn't he truly commit himself to his revenge? Why? Why?
Racel sighed as he slowly made his way to his desk. He needed to work. He needed to do something to take his mind off of this important date. He needed to do something to momentarily forget the man who haunted him in every way possible, Azrael . He needed to forget. Just a moment, he wanted to forget.
He wanted to forget about his past, his fear, his revenge, and most of all, he wanted to forget about Azrael. Just for a little while, just for a little while.
For four years, he held Azrael by his side, pretending to love the man, pretending to care for the man. The plan was supposed to be easy. Racel would pretend. And when the time came when Azrael's heart was completely his, he would leave him. He would break Azrael's heart just like how his mother broke Mylla Alexandra's heart. He would destroy Azrael's life just like how Azrael's mother destroyed his life. He would make Azrael fear and loath love just like how he feared and loathed it. He would make Azrael experience all the pain he's experienced. All the sadness, all the suffering, all the fear, he wanted Azrael to experience it all.
Azrael had to pay for his mother's sins, after all. Sure, he was so young back when it happened. So innocent and so clueless. But so was Racel. He was so young back then too. He was also innocent, he was also clueless. But that didn't exempt him. It didn't exempt him from all the pain, from all the suffering, from all the sadness his father's selfishness cost.
And it was so unfair. When he, Racel, had to endure all of it alone. Azrael had his mother, his brother and even Racel's father. When he was alone, Azrael wasn't.
But ... it was partially his fault, really. Cyrus offered him to stay with them, to stay with his new family. But of course, Racel declined. Really, who could blame him? Who could blame him for not wanting to stay with the family who made his life miserable, with the woman who made his mother's last moments painful, with the family who was so happy despite all the pain they caused? Who could blame him? Who?
When he declined his father's offer, his Uncle Reign stepped into the picture. The man was in need of an heir to succeed the Gutierrez Enterprise. He was in need of someone who could someday take his place and take the company to heights it has never reached before. Of course, Racel agreed. With the request that his relation with Cyrus Ethan Gutierrez be never divulged, he agreed. This was his first step.
This was the first step to his revenge and if it meant living his life with an uncle who was rarely there, an uncle who clearly didn't care for him, then so be it. All he wanted was revenge and money. . . the money his uncle possessed, the power his uncle possessed, he needed it. And so, Racel went on with his life. He studied hard, he aimed to achieve and he aimed to please. But, eight years after his mother's death, he received news that his father, Cyrus had died. Along with his new wife and Azrael's brother, they died in a tragic car accident, leaving a poor orphaned boy in the hands of his loving relatives. When Racel heard the news, not a single ounce of sorrow came to him. His father and his new family died. It was a beautiful punishment for them. Even if he wasn't the one who exacted their punishment, it was fine. There was still someone left to exact his revenge on, after all. Azrael. Azrael Liam Serna.
