Song Of Myself

Chapter 14 - Meghan

The evening had been a weird one. 

With everyone sat around talking about boys and relationships and plans, Meghan had been thinking about the person she'd spent a lot of the week with.

It was becoming increasingly common that she could be found curled up in the library with Oli, catching up on some work or reading. She was having to work harder than she was used to in order to keep up, and also sometimes the peace was nice. On Wednesday they'd spent the evening working on an English project and entirely lost track of time. They'd barely made it back to the dorms before lights out.

Still, Oli wasn't her usual type and she wasn't sure how she felt about leaving her comfort zone. There was definitely something up with him and she wasn't sure what, only that sometimes he grew quiet and withdrawn until something broke him out his reverie. Her type was usually the kind of guys her new friends were dating - sporty or musical and outgoing like Dan or Alex. Maybe even Josh, if he wasn't so clearly head over heels for Hayley. Perhaps she needed to branch out more, meet some new guys.

Or girls, she considered, her train of thought following the conversation. Any thoughts she'd previously had about the attractiveness of women she'd largely dismissed. It was natural to admire people, she thought, and anyway the times she'd kissed girls had always been for show or for fun at parties. She had enjoyed it though, and maybe she did find girls attractive. It was something she'd never allowed herself to consider before, so the thoughts felt alien in her head. 

When everyone went to get food, Megan couldn't convince her body to move off the bed. She was comfortable, and she didn't want food that much anyway. Hayley stayed too, sprawled out on the floor still.

"Are you sure you're comfortable down there?" Megan asked, peering over the side of her bed, "There's room next to me if you like,"

"That would be good actually," Hayley pulled herself up, swaying a little drunkenly, "Woah,"

They both giggled, and Megan held out a hand to help her up, "I never realise how drunk I am until I move,"

Hayley slipped onto the bed and Megan shuffled aside so they could lay side by side.

"Do you think Josh hasn't made a move because he  thinks I'm gay?" Hayley asked quietly, the dim light and the alcohol dragging the truth out of her. It was easier to ask the honest hard questions when you could hide your face.

"I doubt that's it," Megan assured her, "I've seen the way he looks at you, he's definitely into you. He's probably just intimidated by you, you know. You're an intelligent, beautiful person and he's scared you'll reject him,"

"You think I'm beautiful?" Hayley looked up, surprise in her eyes, "I'm just all gangly and awkward, not gorgeous and put together like you,"

"I disagree," Megan kept her face very still, just millimetres from Hayley's. She wasn't sure if she was even breathing when Hayley's lips touched her own.

Kissing a girl like this was different to kissing a boy, although Megan couldn't describe why. She wasn't so sure where to put her hands, or who was in control. She definitely wasn't expecting the others to suddenly return, bursting through the door with swiftly silenced laughter. 

"Oh my God,"

Hayley jumped, almost falling out of the bed, "Guys..." She began as she tried to stay upright. She swayed in a too-long moment of silence.

"You are sooooo drunk," Taylor started laughing, breaking the tense atmosphere. The pressure relieved, the others dropped the food into a pile in the middle of the room and began opening packets and chatting, giving Megan and Hayley a few minutes to untangle and compose themselves. 

It was good of them, Megan thought, to ease the awkwardness a little. They both hunkered down to share food with the others, now all sat on the floor. Faces still flushed, Megan offered Hayley a small smile and eased herself into the conversation.

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"You know, I heard rumors that there's a new girl starting," Tay grinned, "I overheard some staff talking about her - it sounds like she's just been excluded from a school, she sounds baaaaaad, you might have some competition Taylor," She wiggled her eyebrows comically.

Taylor just raised an eyebrow, taking a sip out of the hip flask she'd brought out once they'd finished the wine.

They laughed, "Maybe not," Tay admitted, "She sounds cool though,"

Megan took a moment to wonder if they'd talked about her like this, or if they hadn't had chance with her starting at the beginning of the year.

"I heard she'd starting after the October half-term," Lzzy nodded, "That's only three weeks away," 

As the conversation turned to everyone's plans for the break, Megan's mind drifted. She couldn't believe she'd only been at the school for just over a month, it felt like both forever and also no time at all.

"I can't believe I don't have any plans so my parents still want me to go home for the week," Amy was complaining.

Taylor laughed, "At least your parents want you home, mine are dreading it I can tell,"

"It's meant to suddenly be unseasonably warm, and it's halloween, I'd love to go camping or something," Amy sighed dreamily, and Tay cheered in agreement, "That would be great,"

"You know there's a campsite not that far from here, I wonder if we'd be allowed to do our own thing for the week," Megan imagined she could hear the cogs turning in Lzzy's mind, "We could convince our parents it's an educational thing! Produce reports on the wildlife, or you know... something," She grinned.

"My Dad's big on camping trips, teamwork things, the likes, I bet he'd lend us tents and camping equipment, and it's not like we don't know the area," Jenna offered, and they all sat up a little as they realised this could actually be a good plan.

"Let's talk about it tomorrow when we're sober, we can talk to our parents and research the campsite,"

Despite the palpable excitement in the air, they slowly began drifting towards sleep. With Amy and Lzzy still sharing the bottom bunk, Taylor climbed up to their empty top bunk and proceeded to apparently pass out. Tay shuffled towards the wall in her bed and offered the space to Jenna. They were both only small so it made sense, but Jenna blushed as she swung herself up without using the ladder. Her pyjama shorts rode up and Megan flushed too, turning away and getting into bed. She squished up to leave enough room for Hayley but carefully didn't say anything. Taking the hint, Hayley switched off the bathroom light and slid in next to her, feet cold on her legs.

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Gaaaay lol hello it's me again I'm procrastinating so wrote this. If you're reading this thanks for being as weird as me!

- Xena-Rae xxxxx