infinity; toby mcdonough.

CHAPTER 5

Toby's POV:

I woke up to the sound of Mimi's minivan revving up downstairs. I saw Ellie on the front seat, her expression unreadable. Her mother was in the backseat, poking her head out from time to time to check on Ellie. I zoomed out of the room and quickly ran down the stairs to the porch, but it was too late. Mimi had already started to pull away when I reached them. I ran a hand through my hair and turned back around to go back upstairs. I took a deep breath to let it all sink in my mind.

Was that it? Was that the end of our infinity? Will I ever fix things? I mean, fucking hell, I was so close to telling her that I loved her. And I did. I probably always will. She was the first girl that I ever actually loved, and I'll never forget her. Now she was gone. I don't know if I'll ever get her back, thanks to all the bullshit that Sierra put into her mind. I was furious and sad at the same time, angry at myself for not trying harder, and at Ellie for believing all of that, and at Sierra for coming all the way to Cali just to ruin our fucking summer. I buried my head into the pillow and started crying. I never cried. Oh my God, I was crying. I was so in love with this girl that I was crying.

* * * *

"Toby, you can't lie in there forever," said Connor. I rolled out of bed and checked the time. It was already twelve, and Mimi was back from LA. "You need to get ready, buddy," he said, sitting on my bed and shaking me awake. I wasn't aware that I cried myself to sleep, and I had a headache. I forced myself to get up, looked into space, and realized what was happening again. Before Connor could exit our room, I grabbed him and held onto him. (A/N: [UGLY SOBS]) We'd never done this since my pet bunny died when I was nine, and boy that was a rough time for me, too. "You'll get her back. I know you, Tobes. You don't just give up," he said, rubbing small circles on my back. I was taller than him now, which was insane, and everyone told me that I was a 'big boy' now. I guess it's time to act like one.

About an hour later, we packed up and Mimi let Connor drive for the meantime. Mimi wasn't talking to me, but she shot me death glares from time to time and it made me squirm. Connor decided to turn on the radio, which was a bad idea because the first thing I heard was Robbers. "Switch stations," I groaned. Then he did, but All Of The Stars was playing. I let out another whine as Connor struggled with the stations. Each station had on a song that held captive of a memory that Ellie and I had shared with each other. When Connor saw me put my elbows on my knees and bury my face in my hands, he turned off the radio instead.

"What happened, anyway?" Mimi asked out of the blue. We were an hour into the drive, and the sun was blinding me though the windows were slightly heavy on the tint. I put on my sunglasses before I began speaking. "I don't know. She began talking about what Sierra said about me. She demanded me that I was treating her like a 'play toy,' but Mimi, I swear she's not. She is way more than that." Mimi pursed her lips, examining my tone. "Sooner or later, you have to force the truth out of Sierra," she advised. "I knew we shouldn't have left her there. Ellie's an easily tricked person, and her being a sensitive girl doesn't really help with that," she added.

Riley was silent, but he looked like he had something to say. So I looked at him in hopes of finding comfort. "Toby," he started. "You're like a mini-man now, and you know what you'll do. You won't give up on her and I know that. But there are things that aren't worth the chase. Go ahead, chase her, try to change her mind. But if she doesn't want to budge, don't force it anymore. Let her go. If you really were meant to be, even if it's after graduation or college, she will come back to you."

* * * *

Three months later, I knew what he said was right. I had let Elliana Martin go. I didn't have any other girlfriend after her, but I was happy. She seemed happier now, too, with her new friends over YouTube. I finally ended my negative friendship with Brody. Jacob, Matt and I were tighter than ever.