Haunted archer

Ghost or a lover

Touji woke up early, like most mornings. But this morning he could feel himself not wanting to leave the bed. Yuzuru's hand was across his waist, pinning him down onto the bed. He had wondered if ghosts can sleep. It seemed they can. Touji had to keep from smiling. It was awfully early to feel as giddy as he felt. He started to move his body away from the sleeping Yuzuru, but the only thing he succeeded in, was disturbing the sleeping guy, who just tightened his fingers at Touji's waist and pulled him closer to him. Touji decided to let him hold him for a minute, he had woken up too early for school anyway

 As Yuzuru showed no signs of waking up, he had a chance to think about last night. The kiss or all of them were still felt on his lips, his neck. He had stopped Yuzuru in the end, but why? Touji wasn't sure yet. Maybe sex after seeing a guy twice wasn't exactly reasonable. He felt himself holding back laughter at that thought.

Touji had always thought of himself as the reasonable, logical guy. Messing with Shino was his first real expression of rebellion against his family. Touji had felt neglected and alone. Their parents were going around the country from one to another work-related event. His brother, who had always been there with him had been in a relationship with Shino for some time before the changes in his character started occurring.

Before that, they talked about anything and everything and Touji felt really close to his brother. Then Hinata had suddenly turned mean and sometimes even offensive in his attitude. At one point, when he had too much to drink, he let it slip, what he really thought. That their parents had left him to babysit Touji when he wanted to work for the company and make a name for himself. That he was upset about the attention Shino showed to Touji, he was jealous. And though it was said under the influence, Touji felt sad and betrayed.

Before the seemingly close relationship with his brother was destroyed within an evening. Hinata was proud enough, that he had not even apologized and had no explanation for Touji. At first, Touji tried to ignore the growing separation between them and his own loneliness, but the gap between them just grew larger and didn't feel reachable after that. 

It soon was revealed that not just over baring attitude towards other people, Shino was also scheming and really vile in her thoughts. And there was obviously something wrong with her and Hinata's relationship, so she decided to start messing with Touji's head. Touji really graved the attention and some part of him was so upset with his brother, that he wanted to hurt him, so he let Shino get to him. In the end, he hurt himself the most. Hinata had left, almost without a word, when Shino had flaunted before him, how he had slept with Touji. And Hinata had just left.

Touji had gotten an e-mail, from his mother. Not even a phone call, but a letter, stating that Hinata had been needed in the main office and Touji was big enough to act on his own. To be responsible and not act out just because he feels left out. That the grown-up world would not be easily forgiving towards him. It was obvious, Hinata had talked with their mother, about what Touji had done, and no one had given him a chance to explain. He had really been left alone then.  

 Touji had felt that there wasn't going to be an easy solution for this situation with his family. And in all honesty, he thought that he would be alone for a long time. When your own family couldn't love you and accept you, then why should anyone else. But now there was someone for him. Maybe it was just for a second. As the relationship would not be in normal parameters. And the only chance of anything good to get from it would be to dive right in. Touji felt that if he wanted to feel even just a little bit of happiness, he needed to let go of his normal inhibitions for a time. He needed Yuzuru. Every cell in his body and every sense in his mind sent him the exact same signal.

So he turned his head and looked at the face of Shino Yuzuru. The name which he would start to love from that second on. There wasn't anything he didn't want to love in this person. He would move faster than was normal in any relationship, because he wanted to be happy. As long as possible. And he wanted to help this beautiful guy, find anything and everything he needed to.

"Shino?" Touji lightly asked. Trying the name with a new feeling, and knowing, that he could get used to the name if it was to this person he was turning to. Shino opened his eyes and looked at Touji with a clear look. No sleep in his eyes. "Didn't you sleep?"

"Nope." Shino just looked at him with no expression, but calmness. Touji couldn't understand, what was going on in his head.

"Why didn't you tell me you were up?"

"Because you were thinking so hard."

"What do you mean?" Touji was startled. Did Shino hear his thoughts too or something?

"Don't panic." Shino smiled for a second. "You haven't seen your face when you are concentrating on something. I guessed you were thinking something serious and pretended to sleep until you got through it." Touji relaxed. And then tensed all over again.

"There is something I want to tell you Shino." He wanted to move away from Shino's embrace and unwavering gaze, but he wasn't allowed to do it.

"There isn't much you can tell me, I don't already know." Touji furrowed his brow and waited, what could Shino possibly know about his secrets? "Don't you remember what I said about appearing beside you? Not going away from you? Don't you remember how long I've been dead?" Touji felt his stomach clench and a knot forming inside his heart. How could Shino want to be with him, if he really had seen all his actions and behaviour for the last 3 months?

"I saw it all, you know. Not just the Shino part, not just Hinata, not just the girls from Monday to Sunday. I saw how you were crying in your room. I've seen you writing into your journal. I know the rooftops. The silence, the fake smiles. I've seen your parents' bedroom. I know about you sleeping almost not at all and I know about the depression that's been growing inside you from being lonely for so long." Shino wiped the tear from Touji's cheek. He held his hand there and looked deep into his eyes. 

"I wasn't kidding, when I said that there is a possibility, that me touching you, feeling you. Us perhaps falling in love. It's all meant to be. I really think this is one of the most logical reasons for me to be here. You need me Touji. And I think... I need to save you."

Touji heard every word. Felt such relief and sorrow at the same time. His only response at first was to reach around Shino and hug him tight. He buried his face under Shino's chin and cried his heart out.

Shino just held him tight and felt his own eyes get moist and his heart constricting.

*This was the chapter I do feel good about. Maybe I got some feeling written down here, that I felt.. and saw for real. I know it's pretty serious... but I've never loved just comedies. I love the drama... I live on emotions.. so will do my best with them in every story I write.

*song: Ailee-I Will Go to You Like the First Snow, from Goblin drama. This is an over the top emotional song, to an even more emotional drama. It's one of my fav dramas of all... I've seen it about 15times too. Once with my husband, who cried like a baby, by the way, :D But this is a big hint for this story too... Goblin's plot. I will take something important from there and try to successfully wind it into this story. Who's seen the drama, I think you can guess, what it is. But the lyrics of this song... and the video... well they should help too.