as a girl, i struggled believing my dad was my protetor only because he wasn't always in attedence as the award winning father i trusted in him to be. you see, being the young girl i was, daddy was always meant to be your strongest protector. mine never was. i truly felt less safe around him than alone, there were reasons for that, though. i never felt safe because in that time, my father was more of a junkie than a parent (much of a contrast to his state in the present) which gave me a uneasy feeling. my worry for safety grew as i did, even after he'd moved out as a result of my parents divorce. i'd have dreams of men breaking into my home in the scavenge for my dad and his distribution of drugs even though it was no longer a problem. maybe it was only my mind that made me struggle to feel protection, but it took some ten years to finally gain some courage that my dad would never let me get hurt if he could be there to stop it.
