When fear strikes

Chapter 2 - Mind games

When Barry woke up the next day, his first instinct was to check if what happened wasn't a dream. After making sure no one else was in the room, he slowly reached for his hips and let his hands slip to his legs. Yes! He was feeling it. There were tickling all over what used to be his dead-limbs, painful tickling, but it was better than nothing. There were tears forming in his eyes. Barry wiped them quickly when he heard sounds in the cortex.

He looked up to see Caitlin entering the room, looking directly at him.

''Hey! You're awake! No more nightmares?''

He shook his head.

''Don't worry about Zoom, dude.'' Said Cisco, entering the room in Caitlin's footstep. ''Once you're back on your feet, we'll figure a way to kick his ass.''

There it was again, going back against Zoom? No way, he wasn't going to do it, he couldn't. Barry thought about going back on his decision, on telling the truth to his friends, it wasn't fair to lie to them. He really was going to, but now? When he closed his eyes, all he could see was that monster, feeling his punches, feeling his back breaking. He clenched his fists in an effort to distract his mind and keep his heartbeat under control, keeping the rising panic hidden.

''I'm ok...'' was all he said to his friends, monotonically, sinking on the pillow, closing his eyes.''Just wanna sleep now.''

''Sorry Barry, not yet, I need to check you first.'' Said Caitlin.

Barry grumbled for an answer, hearing Cisco chuckle. Even with his eyes closed, Barry swore he could see Caitlin glaring at her tech friend. For the first time since waking up, a smile appeared on the speedster's face at that, but it disappeared just as fast. He didn't want more tests, he just wanted to get as far away from there as he could. And do it quickly, which was ironic considering the situation he was in.

He stayed silent for it all before pretending to sleep during the whole process, not wanting to engage in any sort of talk with Caitlin over his injuries. He still tended his ears, eavesdropping, at the whispering going around. He heard Joe comes back, disappointment in his voice that Barry was still sleeping, but listening closely to Caitlin's update on his condition. Joe listened closely to the doctor's optimist when she said the boy's spine was starting to heal itself.

''So, he'll be able to get feelings back in his leg and walk again?'' cautiously inquired Joe. Barry could still hear the hope in the voice and his heart ached at it.

''Hopefully...'' trailed Caitlin.''At least he's getting the rest his body needs for now.''

To tell the truth, Barry barely slept last night, but he wasn't going to admit it. He had a very hard time falling asleep, in part because of the pain being his constant companion, but mostly because of the choice he made. And, when darkness claimed him, nightmares of Zoom's attack assaulted him, catapulting him back in the real world, shaking, sweating, breathless.

He waited to be alone in the room to test the limit of what he could do with his legs. He started by moving his toes, before trying with his lower legs, succeeding in both cases, even if all the movements left him grinding through his teeth from the pain growing up in his back, leaving him painting for a moment. Happy with the progress, Barry figured the next step would be sitting up. Once he got his breathing under control and the pain was back at a manageable level, he decided to go for a try.

Bad idea.

Barry barely took his back off the pillow for a couple of inches before a blinding pain hit him hard, light flashing in his eyes, almost making him blacked out. Giving up for the day, he simply laid in the bed, grunting, painting, hoping the next day will be better.