When fear strikes

Chapter 3 - Remorse

On the 6th day of waking up, the pain had subsided a little, making it easier to sit on Eobard's chair and move around, both shifting in the chair and wheeling around in the lab. Despite the initial disgust he had from being forced to stay on the chair of his mother's murderer, the feeling quickly got replaced by some relief of finally being able to move around the cortex on his own, which was a big improvement from only seeing the inside of the medical lab all day for almost a complete week. Well, it wasn't exactly true to say that he was doing it all on his own, still needing some help getting in and out of the bed, but it was definitely progress compare to not even being able to maneuver his body in the bed.

It wasn't without mentioning that even if he truly and deeply cared about his friends and family, their overwhelming presence in the last couple of days had been suffocating. The defeated hero had been in desperate need of some alone time with his thoughts, which wasn't an easy thing to do when people kept on talking to you and interrupting every reflection halfway through it. The whole team probably felt Barry's need to be alone since they all volunteered to go grab food together, except for Cisco. The engineer might have stayed behind, but he was keeping his distance, somewhere else in the lab.

The only thought that kept on coming back was just....run. If it wasn't for his legs, he would already be long gone. In his terrified mind, it seemed like the easier option, easier than facing everyone. With every passing day, the chances he would be able to take that plan into action were increasing at the same rate than the feelings in his legs. However, there was still one problem, one question remaining and keeping him from executing the plan, other than his legs; was there any chance that Zoom was going to forget about him and move on? If there was no Flash anymore, that would make the evil speedster the best out there, without a doubt, right? It was doubtful at best, but Barry knew that in his condition, or even at full health to be honest, there was no outrunning Zoom. If the Black speedster was still after him and if running was useless, there was no way out of this situation, nothing at all. He couldn't stay here forever and say nothing without his consciousness torturing him to death and he couldn't tell the truth about his lies and intention to never be The Flash again without risking to be pushed shut down by everyone for his cowardice. If he couldn't run either...what were his options? A shiver passed through his spine as his terrified mind sent him the most terrible of thoughts yet; what if he cheated death and he needed to finish it, fix this?

No, he couldn't do it. Answering his own mind, Barry furiously shook his head like a madman, victim to an intense mental debate. There was no way he was going to do it, but the single fact that the thought did crossed his mind scared the hell out of him; was he going to lose his sanity if he didn't find any help soon?

'Come on Barry, let's see what you can do' He thought, trying to distract his mind from any other disturbing reflection. With everyone out of the lab, might as well give a try, see how strong his muscles were.

Carefully, slowly, the speedster moved his legs off the foot support of the chair, depositing them on the hard floor. His movements were slow and rigid, but it was better than being cut from any feelings under his hips. So far so good. Smiling at his small victory from maneuvering his limbs this far, Barry stopped moving, taking a short, well-deserved, break.

'Alright, here goes nothing'

Pushing against the wheelchair's armrests to elevate himself off the chair, he gradually transferred his weight charge to his legs, not caring about his arms that started to shake and the sweat that started appearing on his forehead from the effort.

'So far so good, just a little more.' He mentally encouraged himself as his bent knees started to hurt under the pressure. Closing in eyes in concentration, pushing aside the pain and centering all of his mental strength in his legs, he gave one big final push, to release all the pressure off the chair and get up.