Pretend it's okay...

Chapter 4 ( starting)

Thanks you all for all the reads and comments you guys are all amazing

>Lilly's pov <

Flash back

Today I close the door to the past, open the door to the future, take a deep breath and start a new chapter in my life. It all started today, my life changed because of today. How bad things really would become it's all done to this day. If only I knew the start of high school was the beginning of living hell.

I guess being young and naive you don't realize. I used to think it was always going to be perfect like a fairy tale. Ha ha that we'd be friends forever. Funny how those friends are the ones who ruined my story. Who broke me beyond repair. They broke me into tiny pieces that can never be fixed. Because humans can't be glued back together like glass. Their words like venom from a snake which hurt so badly. When they didn't hurt me I hurt myself because I'm made to feel so worthless. I felt the only way around it was to physically cause myself pain. Pain that put me at ease and makes me feel alive. When the coldness hit me. That's when I'm okay. That's when I don't need to pretend because it's when I'm me.

All the laughter, the hugs the I'll be there for you. The I've got your back. They were good times you know? I used to love those times. All the memories the good times got erased within 2 years.The worst thing is I don't why. Why she cause me pain. Why she finds it pleasing. How could she? We used to be inseparable. Shes the reason I hate existing. The soul reason that I'm broken beyond fixing.

But I deserve it don't I? It's my own fault, I let her do this to me. She knew my secrets and used them against me. So for that reason I understand it's my own fault. I rusted her. I told her everything. I made her hurt me. I made me hurt myself.I believe now that new beginnings are disguised as painful endings.

Guys this took me nearly a whole day to write so I hope you enjoy it. It was hard but I love writing and seeing your reactions. Thank you all for everything. But Vicky especially thanks for helping me with this chapter. It's why I love you ;)Pls like, comment and vote. I really hope you like this one.