Pretend it's okay...

Authors note

So here's how it's going to work I'm going to do what I can type without hurting too much and when it's too much I'll stop..

So firstly thanks all of you every single of one you I owe a lot to. I mean you got the book ranked for two things and on top of that you just supported me through out. I hope it was the ending you all wanted or had at least enjoyed it.

Now for the part that's not that difficult to read.

Anyway so some people asked me if I cut and my answer is no no I have never done it. I have come close. Anyway I just wanted to let you guys know where I got this idea and also maybe make you understand why it's soo deep as you guys put it.

The main reason is that Lilly= me. Yeah not every little detail but her main issues and problems, mistakes it's all me. She's my escape and disguise. I'm not good with telling others how I feel so Lilly was my way of letting go of the feelings I've bottled up for god knows how long.

So what happened for me to write about me.

I was always an odd one but I get along with anyone because I just do. That's one of my mistakes I just let anyone in and them it goes haywire. Anyway so primary school was fine for me I was fine with everyone yeah I did get bullied but not too badly. Year 7-8 was epic loved it them years so much however I sort of don't either because that when I let those who ended up hurting me into my life. Now I'm not going into detail when it comes to who but they were 2 very close friends whom I spent a shit load of time with. Something's happened between me and my closest friend and I lost her now since year 9 she's one of the two. The other one isn't even worth a mention. So things went sort of pear from year 10 really I just sort of had one big group of friends but due to the lose of the two I had lost my place in the group not like kicked out I just didn't feel comfortable with them around. So I didn't have anyone. Cut to what matters. This is too hard right now..so SKIP

I've always been looked by other to be a certain way

I'm always meant to smile

Meant to laugh

Meant to be happy

Meant to help others

Well hello I'm human not a machine

So you see what I did was went along with it all

At school I'd be what teachers and my friends wanted

At home what family wanted

Basically perfect

Yeah I remember my teacher he erm kept me behind and spoke to me and basically said nobody's perfect but your close to it and I want only the best from you and stuff I was already having an off day so you know..

Anyway what happened was I gave up I started pretending and so that's where the name came to me from

I've never been able to express my feeling partly because I can't i just bottle things up and also because nobody cares.

Anyway I want to make this clear

I may seem happy on here

Or strong

Or whatever you think I am

But really I'm broken

Because the person that wears the biggest smile often has the biggest stories

I'm not what you all think I am

I may joke around tones

And yeah I'm fine and stuff

But sometimes no

One thing I love about here is that I belong here

I have people who really care

I love you all so much and you've helped me so much

I have stopped now and I'm back to me again but once broken always fragile it still happens..

I hate my life sometimes

I hate it all

But you guys have made such on impact on me you've made life easier and made me stronger.

My advice was in the last 3 chapters it was me speaking all the time the home chapter was me telling you how I feel about home

Anyway my main point everybody is human so make sure you don't let yourself be treated differently to others.

I also just wanted to have one last ramble on this book. So erm yeah omg I got 1K readers so thanks for that.

But yeah I want to do a squeal what do you think yay or nay?

There must me silent readers pls speck up I want to know how this book impacted you

Everyone who reads this pls comment on this chapter or note

With what you gained from the book and what your fave chapter was.

I will be now working on we are who we are and hope to get a result from that also. I have a lot people to thank so I've now decided one last page which contain my wattpad family and my kinda thanks to them. Too much rambling but who cares nobody that's who!

Anyway thanks so much to you all

And bye the way I passed my science exam yay..

Me isn't checking over this it's too long so if you want to see my wattpad family than next page

It will be the last one

But if not thanks ever so much and I love you all xxx