Past Sins

Part 24

Alex's P.o.V

Words couldn't express the joy and happiness I felt. I still couldn't believe I had witnessed the birth of my child, it was just so overwhelming and amazing. I had been skeptical about being there at first but then I knew Zana needed me to be there since her grandmother wasn't. God, I freaking loved her, but anytime I tried to tell her how I felt I couldn't mustered up the courage to. I know I was being a wuss, I am the Alex Flemming after all and I didn't have fears and everything came easy to me except for telling her how I felt. Anytime I thought those three words would come out, they'd just choke me.

I walked down the hallway thinking about how these past four weeks had been hell for me. I had drunk myself to a stupor the first two days after my mother had called to tell me to stay away from Zana and not go near her ever again. I tried to explain things to her but she wouldn't listen to whatever I had to say. She had threatened to do anything and everything in her power to help Zana get a divorce from me then get full rights on the baby and make my life a living hell. I knew my mother well enough to know she would do it without a second thought to me being her son, and I didn't want to lose both her and the child so I obediently did as she said.

I had managed to keep my distance but not stay away, I had John keeping a close eye on her and keeping me updated about her. Every night I would go to sleep with thoughts of her and how she was doing in mind, I had taken up residence in her room which was the only place I felt a bit closer to her. Her room still held her essence, the covers, the sheets and her clothes. Each day that had passed had been much harder to get through than the rest, I tried burying myself with work which made me a walking time bomb at the office, snapping at everyone that came into contact with me. The only one who could tolerate me was John.

The marriage documents had been ratified a few days after the incident, I had planned on giving it to her to show her that I regretted what I had done but due to my mother's interference I couldn't. I could have had it delivered to her but I wanted to be the one to personal give them to her.

That day at the mall, I had been sitting in the parking lot waiting for her, I knew where she was thanks to John. The plan was to wait, follow her home and then slip the documents underneath her door, not the best thing to do but it was close to me personally giving it to her because I didn't think she wanted to see me. But seeing her tired and with those bags my feet moved on their own accord out of the car and towards her. She didn't notice me at first but when she did, she didn't seem happy about it.

I was glad things were okay between us now, I was going to do everything and anything in my power to win her back, slowly, and I wasn't going to screw up this time around. I chuckle to myself as I recalled how she had asked me if I wanted a glass of water or sandwich just to get me to stay. All she had to do was command me and I would have gladly obeyed, I was so whipped for her and I wasn't ashamed of it. The nurse's voice broke into my thoughts as she drew my attention to the fact that we were now at the neonatal care unit. She asked me to stay back as she entered the nursery with two other babies in incubators.

There was a Doctor already in there checking on the other babies, but she stopped to attend to the newest patient. The nurse filled her in on the necessary stuff and pointed to me through the see-through window. She glanced my way, smiling as she did. I returned the smile with a nod before Kyle came to stand by me stretching his neck to get a glimpse of the baby. I didn't really like him but I knew I had to get along with him, I was trying to make things right with Zana after all and Kyle was a big part of her life, hell he'd been there for her more than me. I cleared my throat  to draw his attention to me.