Lost Girl || Bellamy Blake [1]

viii. Guilt

' There it is: My secret. My darkest secret. My body feels like its breaking, like everything's dissolving. But my mind is just lost. '

By the time they made it back to camp night had fallen once again. Clarke and Finn went ahead as they prepared to help Jasper using the seaweed they'd gathered on their trip.

Bellamy and Wells set down the make-shift stretcher that Atom's body had been put on as Corey stood off to the side, listening to the mutterings and conversations around her numbly.

"Get Clarke whatever she needs." Bellamy instructed the nearest people before they obediently set off to help.

"I better go get this grave dug." She heard Wells tell Bellamy before the boy made his way out to get started.

"It's about time, they're gonna kill Jasper." Octavia said causing Corey's head to snap over to her as she took a step forwards in alarm "Did you get the medicine?" 

"Yeah I-I got it, come on let's go talk." Clarke tried to get Octavia inside as the younger girl spotted the body, making her way towards it as a crowd formed.

"Octavia, just stay there, please." Bellamy begged, not wanting his sister to have to see Atom in his state.

"No, No stop." She protested, pushing his arms away as she approached the body.

Crouching down beside the stretcher she pinched the material of the jacket covering Atom between her fingers before pulling it away.

"Atom." Octavia gasped in horror as everyone around her echoed her sounds of shock.

"There was nothing I could do-" Bellamy tried to explain before he was cut off.

"Don't." Octavia protested as she stood, tears rolling down her cheeks after one another in quick succession.

"O! O!" Bellamy croaked as he tried to stop her from leaving.

"Don't." She repeated in a snarl, her face contoured in anger as she left, making her way inside the dropship.

Bellamy sniffed as Murphy approached him "Loose anyone here?" He questioned.

"None." He answered vaguely as his gaze shifted to Corey and her bloody appearance.

"Jasper?" Bellamy asked as Corey moved further away from the group.

"Still breathing, barely, I tried to take him out but your Psycho little sister -- " Murphy didn't get to finish as he was grabbed by the collar and shoved back harshly by Bellamy.

"My what! My what!" He shouted threateningly.

"Your little sister." Murphy relented as he pushed Bellamy off of him.

"Yeah that's right, my little sister," Bellamy breathed "Got anything else you wanna say about her?" He challenged.

"Nothing." Murphy noted reluctantly "Sorry."

"Get him outta here." Bellamy ordered as he turned back to a few of his lackeys who picked up the body before wandering off.

Corey made her way back out of camp when no one was looking, she trekked through the woods, her vision blurred by tears and her steps choppy as she tried not to trip over any roots or fallen branches.

When she made it to her destination Corey sat down and cried, she cried so hard she dry heaved due to her empty stomach, and then she cried some more.

She regretted it, she regretted it so much. But she couldn't just go and take it back like she wished, instead she was stuck with it forever, the guilt that came with taking a life, the one that made her physically sick, the one that would eat her up inside one day if she didn't learn to deal with it.