if you leave | E.D

4.

"layla, come on in! we were just setting the table" lisa, ethan's mom, says as i enter the front door to their home.

"thank you" i give her a hug and hop down the hall to ethan's room.

i think it might be a good time to talk with ethan tonight about.. us.

"babe" his eyebrows raise and a smile instantly spreads across his face when he sees me opening his door.

"hey" i try to smile back.

"you alright? you seem a little uneasy" he puts his hand on my back.

don't say anything now. dinner will be awkward. wait till after.

"yea totally. my stomach just hurts a little. probably just from being really hungry." i shrug.

"oh i'm sorry," he laughs, "yea i'm starving. let's go to the kitchen"

right when we get to the table, lisa yells "gray, cam, dinner's ready!" they both emerge from their bedrooms and jog down the hall.

—

"thank you for the amazing meal, miss lisa" i bring my plate to the kitchen and place it in the dishwasher.

"of course dear, you know you're welcome anytime" she nods and pats my shoulder.

i walk into ethan's room once more and breathe in.

okay. this is gonna go smoothly, layla. everything will be okay.

"hey, etha-"

"oh good, you're back. hey can i show you something" he stands up and grabs his jacket.

great.

"uh- sure"

"alright, put your shoes on, i'm taking you somewhere" he says excitedly.

we walk out to the car and start our journey through the dark roads.

it's rather silent, as i'm thinking of how i'm ever going to do this.

my eyes fixate on the windshield glass, watching the street lights reflecting off of it.

after a while we stop. ethan turns off the car and jumps out, jogging over to my side and opening the door for me. i walk past him, not able to look at him.

i feel so bad.

i look up to see a wide, clear lake surrounded by trees. a majority of the trees have lights tangled through them. it's actually quite gorgeous, i'm not gonna lie.

there was this big rock with a blanket laid out.

"come on, let's go sit down." he grabbed my hand.

for some reason my stomach didn't rush with butterflies of excitement like it used to whenever our skin touched.

i climbed up onto the rock and sat down, staring at the reflections on the water.

i think ethan could tell i was avoiding conversation. he started to lower his head and play with his jacket zipper.

"so what do ya think"

"it's pretty," i nod nonchalantly.

"lay, is everything.. alright?"

"yeah, yeah i'm okay." i look over at him and see his eyes getting glossy.

i never want to hurt him. he's so pure, he doesn't deserve it. he deserves someone better than me.

hours pass of us looking at the stars.

it brings back old memories. whenever we first started dating, we would climb to the roof and lie down, pointing out the biggest and brightest stars in the sky. i remember how it felt. to be so in love with him. i remember how much i needed him. i remember thinking i could never let go of him. i remember thinking we would last forever and ever.

i got sad thinking about it.

i looked over at him, only to see a tear running down the side of his face. he turned his head towards me and gave a reassuring half-smile. but i knew that he knew what i was thinking about. he pulled a piece of folded paper out of his pocket and handed it to me.

wha- is it a note?

i took it and looked at him. without reading it, i shoved it into my pocket. i sat up and jumped off the rock.

"we should get going" i walk to the car and get in by myself. after a minute ethan joins me, and starts the ignition.