Catching Rainbows

15

A few minutes later, Keith took off to go fuck sheep or whatever he did in his spare time, and we were both relieved. 

We got to spend the next hour together, wandering from the playground and back to keep an eye on all the kids while we talked. About the kids, our moms, books, food, and a hundred other random things. Two guys arrived and set up the Velcro wall, leaving different sized suits to be worn.

I for one was down to try on the heavy, gross suit and run with her to throw ourselves at the inflated Velcro wall. It was physically incredibly awkward and fun and we started giggling on the first try. The kids were making bets on which of us could go up higher and stay the longest, and after ten minutes we had to stop because we were too hot and tired.

Hailie was jumping in the big bouncy house, and would be content to do so another hour if nothing upset her.

"Ooh," Chloe said, remembering something. "C'mon." 

I smoothed down my hair as I followed her back to the food tables, and she led me to the ten kinds of chips surrounded by various bowls of dips and salsas. 

She grabbed a hand wipe from the container and used it. "Tell me you don't like this," she said, taking a round tortilla chip and scooping it into guacamole. She held it out.

Shit, was I supposed to take it or bite into it or . . . ? It was close enough to bite, so that's what I did, and chewed self-consciously. "Okay," I said, after I swallowed. "You win. That's delicious." I got my own hand wipe because it was true and I wanted more. "Especially without the chunks of raw onion guacamole usually has."

"Yay, I knew you'd like it." She smiled and it distracted me for a minute because damn. 

"You made it?"

"Of course," she said mock-haughtily. "I love to cook. Not that I have anyone to cook for." she added ruefully. 

You can cook for me, I almost said. "I love to, too. Cooking, baking, anything putting ingredients together."

"We totally need to bake together," she said, dipping her own chip. 

A cry arose from the bouncy house but it wasn't Hailie and I relaxed immediately. "Chloe! Raymond's juice spilled in here!"

"Naturally," she said, grabbing some water and a roll of paper towels. The expensive kind that were more like real towels than paper. She tore a handful off for me as we shooed the kids out; the juice was all over and we began soaking it up. "Raymonddd," she called teasingly. "You're not supposed to have juice in here, remember?"

"Sorry!" the kid said cheerfully as they all ran off.

By then I held a wad of soggy purple towels and I tossed them out onto the lawn, bouncing a little. It was kind of like a trampoline, which I loved. She moved to throw her own out and slipped to her knee, which tipped me off balance and we fell into a pile, laughing. I tried to get up and my hand slid on the wet rubber, crashing me back down, which only made us laugh harder. 

Her face was just inches from mine and we realized this at the same time and both of us stilled. Kids ran by and hollered at each other and one blew a whistle, but we might as well have been in our own world, those amber eyes like magnets.

BAM! The loud noise made by a hand slamming into the rubber by our heads made us both jump. "Can't you hear Joey calling you?"

"Fuck off, I'm coming," she answered, getting her feet under her and making her way to the entrance.

He met my eyes and his were cold. Oh, he did not like me. Well, that shit was mutual. 

Suddenly, though, he began to smile. "Oh!" he said. "Ohhh-ho-ho, I know who you are now," he said in an almost delighted voice. "Now I know where I recognize you from."

Fuck.

She was standing next to him now, looking perplexed. I got to my own feet and stepped carefully toward the door, hating that I was so off-balance. "Don't," I warned, meaning it. 

His smile was terrible. "You're the chick, aren't you? Your dad killed your mom in front of you, and now he's in the loony bin or something." He laughed. "Did the kid see it happen too? Is that why she's messed up?"

I couldn't breathe or think. Chloe's jaw dropped and she looked at me and then back at him, stunned. I wobbled down the blown up ramp and past them to the other house, totally on automatic, trying not to cry or scream or freak out in front of everyone. 

I spotted Nathaniel with huge relief near the entrance of the big jumpy, and got his attention. "Get Hailie," I said, my voice tinny in my ears. I felt surreal, the laughter and fun around me turning into a roaring now. Bad, this was bad, I couldn't handle this.

"What is it, Luna? I'm still bouncing," Hailie whined as she appeared in the window.

I focused on the little faces. "You can have two of those special new Rice Krispie treats if you go get in the car with me right now."

I was speaking her language and though she was torn, that was an offer she couldn't refuse. I almost cried, I was so thankful. She came out and started to put her shoes on but I couldn't wait, I had to go. "Grab your shoes and I'll carry you."

The adults weren't paying us any attention. I saw the stepmom in my direct view and forced myself to raise the corners of my mouth and say, "Thank you for having us," as I'd been taught, and then my eyes were flooding and I casually fled. 

We got past the tables before the trembling began. Nathaniel glanced up at me in concern a few times, stumbling along in his socks. I hoped he wouldn't step on a bee. 

Then Hailie started. "Lunaaa wait! Wait, my balloon! I need my balloon! The pink one that there are only two of that Joey's sister said I could have!"

I couldn't. I could not go back. 

"I'll get it," my cousin offered, because he knew something had happened, and was trotting back to the tables before I could answer. 

I barely noticed Chloe arguing with Keith next to the pile of purple paper towels. I knew I probably wouldn't see her again, after this. She wouldn't want to be my friend when I had so much damage, so much shocking history. I would have told her eventually, in my own way. 

Now it was too late.

"Nooo I have to see if he gets the right balloon!" Hailie began to squirm. 

"He will! Just be still!" I said too impatiently. I saw my miraculous escape riding away into the sunset.

But Nathaniel was returning with the coveted precious balloon and he handed it to me. "Thanks, buddy," I said with forced cheerfulness. "Last one there's a rotten pear!"

"I want to hold it, Luna, please can I?"

"I'm going to hold it now so it doesn't get away, and you can hold it in the car," I said firmly as the first tear spilled down my cheek. I focused only on the minivan and the steps taking me closer to it.

Flight had always been my reaction of choice.