City Secrets

Chapter 4

In my dream a pair of green eyes glitter and a smug smile tempts me. I hear his angel voise calling to me and my heart flutters as I chase him through a cool forest morning. I reach for him but he always manages to evade me. He is always close enough to touch but too far to grasp him in my hand.

My feet stumble over rough floor and I slip on the piles of leaves. I crack my head on a rock and feel the gooey hot blood oozing from the wound but I feel no pain instead a steady burn starts in my chest and the forest around. E goes up in smoke. Tears drip from my eyes and I realize that I'm all alone.

Where was he? Why did he leave me here? He's supposed to come back!
Am I wrong? Am I mistake... a monster?

These thoughts caress my mind like old friends, they trace their ghostly fingers through my head.

The earth underneath me is the only thing that's cold and I want so badly to give in to the lull of it's icy grip, I want to escape the fire dancing across my skin. Darkness threatens to sufficate me and I start losing conscious when a cool voice cry's out my name. His voice is my only point of focus, it's the only solid thing to grasp on to and I use it to pull myself up from the fire.

"Jenn, Jenna wake up!"

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When my eyes fly open I'm met with the same sight I've seen for the last two weeks. The ceiling fan spins lazily, only enough to shift the dust and stale air of the empty apartment.
Sweat drips from my body and I feel like a furnace beneath the blankets.

Two weeks ago the only family I've ever known was ripped away from me and to say I felt like shit was an understatement. All I remember from that day in the hospital was my little outburst at Andrew but after that...

The morning that everything finally fell apart I remember wishing for a change. I wished that one day I wouldn't have to worry about her anymore, that i wouldn't have to take care of her addiction, but this... this isn't what I wanted. And now she was in a coma, and no one knew how long it would be or if she would ever wake from it.

I lay in bed and wait for the nausea or the headaches that I'd been getting for the last six years... But it all left when my mom did. I feel healthier than I have in years, my body felt good. It was as if all my energy was being drained and had suddenly came flooding back to me.

Usually at five in the morning I would be passed out with exhaustion but I jump from the couch and head to the shower. No longer satisfied to lay underneath the blankets pitying myself. I don't have any more tears to cry even though my heart feels like a twisted wreckage. It had been two weeks since I've seen another human being and I feel like I'm going mad with only my dreams as company.

The water on my skin feels soothing as I wash all the grime of the past few days from my skin. My phone beeps with a message notification from the counter and I don't have to check to know it's Andrew. He's the only other human being who would care enough to message. Too bad that I want nothing to do with him, when my mom needed him he bailed on her. I know I'm being a hypocrite seeing as I wasn't there for her either but I wasn't ready to forgive him yet. And besides, the coward hadn't even tried to apologize face to face.

By the time that I'm dried and dressed I'm ready to get back into bed. I was planning on visiting my mom today... But every time I think of stepping a foot outside of this apartment my heart sinks into my stomach.

A sudden knock on the door shatters my mood and I wonder who would be visiting me? I might have concidered the Landlord, coming to claim rent. But he's a drunkard who hasn't climbed these stairs in years.

My feet slip on the cracked tiles as I rush to greet my visitor and I crash into the front door with a soft thump. The wood in grainy beneath my fingers and I squint to look through the peephole.

There is no one on the other side of the door. The hall outside is empty. Nobody is there, but I'm sure I heard a knock on the door and a chill crawls down my back like two bony fingers.

Eyes like emeralds glitter in the back of my head and the sensation of a needle piercing my skin jogs memories that linger just outside of my reach. Maybe... Maybe, I forgot or maybe these memories were from long ago but they prickle at my mind and somehow I know the last puzzle piece is on the other side of that door.

My hand slides forward without my consent. I feel the cool bite of the metal handle in my skin and almost pull back, but the twist of my wrist signals the point of no return as I turn the handle and the door swings open almost of its own volition.

My heart leaps from it's cage in my chest and electric sparks flash in my vision. Memories flood my head like water and I drown in the image of Jack, the nurse who watched me slip into oblivion after whatever concoction was in that syringe entered my system. The memories recede like a tide and I regain control of my head.

The hallway is empty. Cracked tyles and a flickering light are all that greet me on the other side but the sound of the knock still rings in my ears.

Another shiver trails down my back. This shiver is slow. Torturous. It winds down my spine and spreads out onto the exposed skin between my shirt and the low-rise back of my jeans. Fear pumps through my blood and I can no longer deny that the shiver is nothing less than the press of an intrusive hand on my skin.

"Did you miss me Sweetness?"